Jonah, re that story about the District of Columbia upgrading the quality and size of its free student condoms, I think this paragraph deserves to be chiseled on the tombstone of the Republic:
“If people get what they don’t want, they are just going to trash them,” said T. Squalls, 30, who attends the University of the District of Columbia. “So why not spend a few extra dollars and get what people want?”
The Hyacinth Girl responds:
Hey, T., why don’t you spend a few extra dollars and buy your own, jackass?
She has a point. Why should T Squalls, 30, bill DC taxpayers for his sex life? Thirty is so old you’re not even eligible for Obama’s child health-care coverage. Thirty is what less evolved societies used to call “early middle age”.
Why is (DC taxpayer) Jonah Goldberg buying condoms for 30-year old men he doesn’t know? Because that’s big government for you: You start a free-condom program for sexually active Fourth Graders, and next thing you know elderly swingers in the twelfth year of Social Construct Studies want in. The DC condompalooza is a perfect example of progressive thinking’s malign paradox: It both destroys childhood and infantilizes adulthood, leaving a big chunk of the populace in eternal adolescence.
What was it the hippies said? Never trust anybody over 30? Advice to DC women: Never trust anybody over 30 who expects the government to buy his condoms.