The Corner

Re: Dreher’s Turtles

Well, there’s a story there. We have a

little boy who wanted a pet. We can’t have cats because wife is allergic.

She and Boy are also allergic to dogs. Wife brings home little green turtle

one day to make boy happy. Boy names him Swimmy, is happy. Two weeks later,

Boy and I come home from mass in a separate car from Wife. Wife has left

note on door: “SWIMMY DEAD. DON’T LET HIM GO IN BEDROOM. GONE TO PET STORE.”

I distract Boy. Wife comes home from pet store hiding emergency back-up

Swimmy in bag. Wife makes handoff to me, and I slip into Boy’s bedroom to

replace defunct turtle in aquarium. Moments later, I summon Wife to witness

miraculous resurrection of Swimmy, who had just been sleeping. We invite Boy

in to greet Swimmy’s new pal. Boy names him Swampy, is happy.

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