“In the 12th Century B.C., Moses the Lawgiver delivered the Ten Commandments to the Israelites. President Obama the Lawgiver has added significantly to them, overseeing the enactment of a record number of new regulations.”
“In the Late Neolithic, the wheel was invented. President Obama has made historic use of wheels for his many campaign trips to Ohio.”
“During the Cambrian period, the first vertebrates appeared. President Obama showed historic signs of a primitive backbone himself when he boldly announced that “at a certain point I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married.””
“About three billion years ago, the first aerobic organisms appeared. President Obama has made historic use of oxygen in his detailed answers to press conference questions.”