The Corner

Re: Onomastics Watch

From a reader named Roger:

“Mr. Derbyshire—Actually, Bates Gill has been around quite a while doing

foreign policy analysis. This situation reminds me of the scene in the

movie ‘Office Space’:

“(perky annoying secretary) Your name is Michael Bolton?

“(grumbling reply) Yes

“(perky annoying secretary) Any relation to the singer?

“(grumbling reply) No, it’s just a coincidence.

“(cube mate) I don’t know why you get so discouraged. There’s nothing wrong

with your name.

“(M. Bolton) There WAS nothing wrong with my name. Until I was about 12

years old, and that no-talent a**-clown came along and started winning all

those Grammies!

“(cube mate) Well, why don’t you just go by Mike then?

“(M. Bolton) Why should I change MY name? He’s the one that sucks.”

Somehow, after Microsoft Windows has crashed for the umpteenth time at CSIS,

I can see Bates Gill having a very, very similar conversation…

John Derbyshire — Mr. Derbyshire is a former contributing editor of National Review.
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