Jonah, first of all, if you go to Moss Bros to rent a tux with all the trimmings get one like Daniel Craig’s in Casino Royale, not the Bill Clinton get-up where he looks like the maitre d’ at a 19th century bordello.
Second, if you cross the Atlantic on an American carrier, you have only yourself to blame. Why didn’t you go British Airways or Virgin or even (make sure you’re sitting down before reading this) Air France? I’m the least anti-American non-American on the planet but that doesn’t extend to embracing America’s passenger airline network.
(And yes, I know every time I mention this subject I hear from lifelong NR subscribers who are AA and United pilots but for the last six weeks I’ve flown United from Vermont to Chicago every Sunday and back every Friday, and every Sunday and every Friday they’ve served me the same “Asian chicken salad”. There are Third World penal institutions that have more varied menus.)