Jonah, a lot of us have been having that “Is there another me?” problem recently. Staunch Saddam toppler Ken Adelman woke up the other morning to read a piece by some entirely different “Ken Adelman” announcing his support for a candidate who’s consistently opposed everything Ken argued for. And poor old Christopher Hitchens, loyal friend of the people of Iraq, switched on his computer and found that Slate had commissioned a piece by some fellow called “Christopher Hitchens” gung ho for a presidential nominee who wants to abandon the Iraqis to their fate.
And even Christopher Buckley, last heard from in The New York Times urging us conservatives to “shut the f*** up” and get behind McCain, must have been stunned to discover that Tina Brown ransacked the telephone directory until she turned up another “Christopher Buckley” who thinks McCain is a ghastly sell-out who’s betrayed all his principles. And heaven knows what Senator Joseph Biden, the respected foreign policy expert who shrewdly observed that this Obama guy isn’t ready to be president, thought when he switched on the TV and saw this guy called “Joe Biden” traipsing from state to state declaring Obama’s the man.
Any day now, I expect to read a column by a “Mark Steyn” announcing that, while I continue to have enormous respect for Senator McCain despite his foolish and dangerous choice of Sarah Palin, I’m announcing my full support for Senator Obama because trillion-dollar-a-go-go entitlements, tax hikes, socialized health care, and federally-funded day care for three-year-olds are exactly what we small-government conservatives are looking for. This will immediately be followed by an analysis on “Politico” pointing out that “this is an especially devastating blow to McCain as Mike Stoon [check sp] is one of the most sober, moderate, respected and soberly moderate figures on the right”.
So I’d check with the Oxford Union re this “Jonah Goldberg” guy. As far as I know this Oxford doppelganger is the first time the Body Snatchers have left their mysterious spores outside the Lower 48.
UPDATE: Senator John McCain writes:
Hi, I’m an independent principled feisty flinty bipartisan maverick Bush-baiting senator whom the press boys love kibbitzing with. Great sense of humor. Recently I discovered from reading some of my favorite columnists at Newsweek, Time and so on – all the guys who used to whoop it up on the Straight Talk Express – that there seems to be another ‘John McCain’, who’s not independent principled feisty, etc, but is instead an old, cranky, bitter, extremist Bush poodle consumed by anger. What are the odds on two polar opposites having the same name?