Several readers have told me that Michelle Yeoh and Zhang Ziyi actually
*did* have a fight in “Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.” Oh. That must have
been after the point where I fell asleep.
Perhaps I should just give up on sword flicks altogether. Anyway, for the
Yeoh-Zhang showdown, I had in mind something more along the lines of a
wrestling pit filled with jell-o. Can that be fitted in to a movie about
ancient China? I bet it can. What the heck’s wrong with the air
conditioning in here?