The Corner

Right Brain, Wrong Brain

From the Onion:

Scientists Isolate Area Of Brain That Doesn’t Like Poking 

BETHESDA, MD—After an extensive six-month study using an electroencephalogram and a finger, researchers at the National Institutes of Health have discovered the section of the human brain that responds unfavorably to poking.

“We found a direct link between this negative effect and our finger pressing on a particular area of the brain,” said neuroscientist Matthew Redman Monday, who conducted the study on 12 healthy participants. “After analyzing our data and testing and retesting our subjects, we finally identified this region as the surface area of the brain.”

Jonah Goldberg — Jonah Goldberg holds the Asness Chair in Applied Liberty at the American Enterprise Institute and is a senior editor of National Review. His new book, The Suicide of The West, is on sale now.

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