The Corner

Scenes From Married Life

[Enter Husband from left. He has just taken a shower, and is wearing only a towel fixed round his waist.]

Wife [pointing at husband’s fairly ample midriff]: What’s that?

Husband: That? That’s my embonpoint.

W: Your what?

H: Embonpoint. That’s my embonpoint.

W: That’s not a word.

H: Is so.

W: Well, it’s not an English word.

H: If it’s in the dictionary, it is. I bet it’s in the dictionary.*

W: It’s flab, that’s what it is.

H: Embonpoint.

W: Flab. Gut. Beer belly. You should get rid of it.

H [feigning outrage]: Get rid of my embonpoint? Never!

W: Om bom pom, phooey. You give it fancy name, doesn’t make it beautiful. It’s flab. You need to exercise more.

H: No time. Too busy working to support my family.

W [scornfully]: Hah! You worked much harder when we first got married, but didn’t have om bom pom. What happened to your six-pack?

H: It’s there.

W: Where?

H: Under my embonpoint.

*Correct: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/embonpoint

John Derbyshire — Mr. Derbyshire is a former contributing editor of National Review.
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