The Corner

‘Sort-of-birth’ abortion

Dear Diary,

I had an engaging conversation with a liberal last night at the Capitol Lounge — the kind you’re glad to get into, and that you would like to think you’d have even if the liberal wasn’t an extremely attractive female.

In the spirit of bipartisanship, I began by conceding that Jimmy Carter actually won the Cold War. By cleverly letting the Soviets advance wherever they wanted, he caused them to overextend themselves so that they were bound to collapse a decade later. Inexplicably, she didn’t buy this argument, so I had to backtrack and admit to Ronald Reagan’s greatness.

We then hashed out women in combat and gays in the military. Somehow the topic of partial-birth abortion came up, to which my interlocutor replied that that is a “divisive” term. I said that it was a “descriptive” term. After all, when you abort a baby that has been partially born, “partial-birth abortion” seems like the easiest and most accurate way to describe it — doesn’t it?

Another conservative friend jumped in: “How about if we call it ‘sort-of birth abortion?’ Does that make it better?”

Sadly, it did not, but he’s already drawn up the paperwork to trademark the term.

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