The Corner


Here are some Southernisms of my own.

First, two that I recall from a colleague I had once, a fellow from Texas.

He was a veritable geyser of colorful metaphors, and I wish I could remember

more. These, at any rate, have stuck in my mind this past 20+ years:

[Of a woman who had set her sights on him] “She was comin’ after me like I

was a basket of corn and she was a hog.”

[Of a job of work we had been assigned, which he was confident we would get

finished quite swiftly if we buckled down to it] “Come on, Derb–We’ll be

through this faster ‘n a dose of salts through a widder-woman.”

And my all-time favorite Southern insult, from the movie Thunderbolt and

Lightfoot. “H’if they was to take yo’ brain

and shove it up a gnat’s a**, h’it would look like a B-B in a boxcar.”

John Derbyshire — Mr. Derbyshire is a former contributing editor of National Review.

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