Can’t tell you about Dr. Strange’s bedtime propensities, Jonah, but I can tell you that Spiderman is hetero. Which leads to a tale–and a question.
Trying to find something last winter that my eight-year old son would actually read, I did my best to think back across the eons to when I was his age, recognized that I used to love Spiderman, then went online and ordered my son an issue a month for a year. My first surprise was that comic books don’t cost 15 cents apiece any more. The bill for twelve issues? Almost twenty-five bucks.
My second surprise occurred when the first issue arrived. Flipping through the comic book before handing it over to my son, I found that smack dab in the middle of the story we find our hero naked, in bed, and engaged in unmistakeable activities (with a woman, which is why I know Spiderman is hetero). I simply couldn’t believe my eyes. Believe me, amigos, that sort of thing just didn’t take place in the comic books I used to leaf through in my pediatrician’s office. In every issue since, it’s been the same: midway through the story, sex, and pretty explicit sex at that. Since I can’t figure out how to cancel the subscription, I simply keep tossing the darned things out.
The question: Are there any innocent comics left? My eight-year old son could still use something that’s fun and easy to read–especially now that it’s summer. What superhero has forsworn soft-core porn?