The Corner

Stone’s Disaster

Oliver Stone’s Alexander, which opens today, isn’t just bad. It’s

Springtime for Hitler bad. I haven’t guffawed this hard since I saw

Airplane for the first time 24 years ago. This is one of the colossal

catastrophes of all time. At a screening on Monday night, during the

death scene of Alexander’s lover Hephaiston, people were screaming with

laughter as Alexander made a big speech while, behind him in soft

focus, Hephaiston went into a conniption fit and croaked. Plus,

Angelina Jolie plays Alexander’s mother like she was Natasha from the

Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons. It’s almost worth seeing, but don’t,

because if you’re like me and want to see Oliver Stone utterly

destroyed for his artistic and political crimes, you will make sure not

to contribute to the box-office coffers of what is sure to go down in

the annals of moviedom as Heaven’s Gate with rampaging evil elephants

(no, I’m not kidding).

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