The Corner

“Support Group”

My eye naturally goes to the most ridiculous passages of the Iraq Study Group’s report. Like this one: “Iraq’s neighbors and key states in and outside the region should form a support group to reinforce security and national reconciliation within Iraq, neither of which Iraq can achieve on its own.”

Here’s how it would work:

BAKER: Who wants to start?

MALIKI: I do. I’m just feeling very angry at Mahmoud today.

BAKER: Mahmoud? What do you have to say about that?

AHMADINEJAD: I say Death to Israel. I also say Maliki should stop whining all the time. Sunni Whiner! Sunni Whiner!

BAKER: Well, Death to Israel of course, Mahmoud, but I think you’re avoiding the real issue here.

ASSAD: Can I just…

BAKER: Not now, Bashar. We’re having a breakthrough here.

MALIKI: What can I say? He has taken all the power in the relationship.

AHMADINEJAD: You sicken me. Why can’t you be a man like Moqtada?

MALIKI: Oh, you beast! You beast, you!

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