The Corner

Surgeon Amputates Ears so Man Can Look Like Parrot

The Onion is in danger of irrelevancy.

We have now fallen so deeply into the vortex that a woman obsessed with becoming visually impaired was intentionally blinded–as a treatment–by her psychologist.,

Now, a surgeon amputated a mans ears so he can satisfy his urge to look like a parrot. From the Telegraph story:

Ted Richards, 56, is obsessed by pets Ellie, Teaka, Timneh, Jake and Bubi and has his face tattooed with colourful feathers.

But the animal lover – who has 110 tattoos, 50 piercings and a split tongue – has now had both his ears removed by a surgeon in a six hour operation. “I am so happy it’s unreal, I can’t stop looking in the mirror.”

Eccentric Mr Richards has given his severed ears to a friend who “will appreciate them” and is now planning to find a surgeon prepared to turn his nose into a beak.

This is what it is coming to: Medical professionals reduced to lifestyle order-takers, allowing the mentally ill to play out their destructive desires or kill the suicidal.

Our cultural obsession with “choice” and not judging lifestyle decisions–except for tobacco users–has driven us insane, or perhaps better stated, turned us into enablers of insanity.


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