Via our colleagues at Planet Gore, Obama prepares to stimulate the universe:
WASHINGTON (AP) – The president’s new science adviser said Wednesday that global warming is so dire, the Obama administration is discussing radical technologies to cool Earth’s air.
John Holdren told The Associated Press in his first interview since being confirmed last month that the idea of geoengineering the climate is being discussed. One such extreme option includes shooting pollution particles into the upper atmosphere to reflect the sun’s rays.
Maybe it would be cheaper just to shoot dollar bills up there. Meanwhile, there’s a Jonah angle:
But Holdren noted that shooting particles into the air—making an artificial volcano as one Nobel laureate has suggested—could have grave side effects and would not completely solve all the problems from soaring greenhouse gas emissions. So such actions could not be taken lightly, he said.
Still, “we might get desperate enough to want to use it,” he added.
An artificial volcano. Perhaps we could convert Gitmo into one. Oh, and we’re going to need millions of artificial trees, too:
Another geoengineering option he mentioned was the use of so-called artificial trees to suck carbon dioxide—the chief human-caused greenhouse gas—out of the air and store it. At first that seemed prohibitively expensive, but a re-examination of the approach shows it might be less costly, he said.
The prototype artificial tree — Al Gore — is indeed prohibitively expensive, but he certainly sucks all the carbon dioxide and pretty much everything else out of the room. But, if we don’t act now, billions of species will die before we even have a chance to discover whether they exist and, if so, are endangered enough to send a camera crew out to film them:
“Just about everything is going down,” says Simon Stuart, head of the IUCN’s species-survival commission. “And when I think about the impact of climate change, it really scares me…” The worst-case scenarios of habitat loss and climate change — and that’s the pathway we seem to be on — show the planet losing hundreds of thousands to millions of species, many of which we haven’t even discovered yet.
But, admirable though the eco-hysteria is, Bryan Walsh needs to work a little on his metaphors if he wants the man in the street to be able to relate to them:
When we pollute and deforest and make a mess of the ecological web, we’re taking out mortgages on the Earth that we can’t pay back — and those loans will come due.
A mortgage you have to pay back? What the hell kind of mortgage is that?