Julia Turner writes that some men “have experimented with the non-thank-you thank-you—a note that acknowledges thanks are due and then fails to explicitly provide them. In 1912, a young Harry Truman sent his future wife Bess the following:
“‘I don’t believe I even thanked you or your mother for the fine dinner you gave me, and I know I didn’t thank Agnes for her pie. She ought to know it was very much appreciated though because two pieces disappeared in my direction; and you know I always enjoy dinner at your house.’
“Writing a non-thank-you thank-you conveys your implicit annoyance with the obligation, and allows you to passively assert your superiority by declining to properly meet it.”
This seems foolishly literal-minded. It reminds me of the insistence of some people that wars authorized by Congress are nonetheless unconstitutional if Congress does not “formally declare war.” There’s no constitutional requirement that Congress, in declaring a war, has to use a particular verbal formula. And there’s no good reason not to count “I appreciated your gesture,” or words to that effect, as a thank you.