One of the British-born ISIS terrorists held in U.S. custody, Alexanda Kotey, was sentenced to life in prison on Friday by U.S. district judge T. S. Ellis. I interviewed some of the family members of Kotey’s victims, James Foley and Kayla Mueller, in 2020. At the trial, family members of the victims gave heartrending testimony. Some spoke of forgiveness, others of how much they wished for Kotey and his fellow terrorist Elsheikh to suffer.
The daughter of one victim said, “I hope you go rot in hell.”
The mother of another victim said, “I will not hate you. . . . I choose to let my heart be broken open, not broken apart.”
The dilemma these surviving members face recalls that described in Simon Wiesenthal’s The Sunflower: On the Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness. While imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp, Wiesenthal was asked forgiveness by a dying SS member. He remained silent. Should he have forgiven him? The book includes dozens of responses from psychiatrists, human-rights activists, other genocide survivors, and theologians.
One of the best resources on this subject I’ve read is Francisco Ugarte’s From Resentment to Forgiveness: A Gateway to Happiness. Ultimately, I’m not sure it’s possible to forgive the unforgivable or unrepentant without a belief in God.