It shouldn’t take Émile Durkheim to tell you that humans are a distinctly social species. When we are deprived of social connection, our bodies and minds enter a vulnerable state. And, when we are in that vulnerable state, we become increasingly susceptible to both psychological and physiological ailments.
A lonely society is, therefore, a sick society.
A new study from the American Psychological Association reveals that middle-aged Americans are lonelier than ever — and that this is having not just mental but also physical side effects for them.
The authors of the study compared Americans’ feelings of loneliness and social disconnection to those of Europeans from 13 nations. They found that Nordic peoples experienced the “lowest levels of loneliness,” whereas Mediterranean Europeans, the English, and Americans showed “historical increases and elevated levels of loneliness.” The authors, citing last year’s advisory from the U.S. surgeon general, open the study by linking loneliness to “increased risk for depression, compromised immunity, chronic illness, and mortality.”
Middle-aged people carry a unique set of burdens: taking care of their parents as they enter old age, tending to the needs of their children as they enter adulthood and “struggle to secure stable employment,” and dealing with their own personal finances in an increasingly volatile economic landscape.
The authors rightly state that middle-aged people “form the backbone of society.” That they, too, have fallen victim to our loneliness epidemic is particularly troubling.
While research on loneliness is scarce and the authors themselves admit to not having a eureka moment, some American social trends may help explain the crisis. Among them: the “individualized” nature of American society, our hyper-competitiveness, the ubiquity of social media, and our willingness to move around so willy-nilly.
There are strong cases to be made for all of these factors. But our culture of hyper-individualism plays the strongest role. As I’ve stated before, we err, as Americans, in our belief that the individual does not need, can live apart from, and indeed is more important than the broader community.
When all we see or pay attention to is ourselves, we lose sight of our neighbors, families, and friends. This leads to a diminishment of social cooperation or social capital, which leads not only to loneliness but also to a stagnation in societal progress. As neuropsychologist Sanam Hafeez commented, our cultural predilection for hyper-individualism “often sidelines the importance of building strong social connections.”
We must remember that, by working together and producing social capital, we are acting more efficiently and, therefore, can accomplish so much more. A society plagued by social isolation stagnates.
When we are lonely, it is reflected in our societies. That’s what Robert Putnam found in his 1993 book Making Democracy Work. According to Putnam, in southern Italy — where citizens are civically disengaged, socially disconnected, and fundamentally distrusting of others — government operated inefficiently and feelings of anomie permeated the cultural ethos. Northern Italy, conversely, was characterized by high trust and social cooperation. So it wasn’t surprising to see the U.S. lumped in with “Mediterranean Europe” in this study.
While the remedy to the current loneliness epidemic may not be readily available, it would be wise to look at our history as a sound blueprint. The America of Alexis de Tocqueville wasn’t purely individualistic, nor was it a communitarian paradise. It was, rather, an equilibrium. We must return to that happy medium.
Reading reports like these can make you feel a bit hopeless. The tides, though, can turn. While there may not be any cure-all, Americans can help reverse this trend of increasing social isolation by joining voluntary associations (à la Tocqueville), curtailing their screen time, and perhaps even hosting a dinner at their house. (Books like The 2-Hour Cocktail Party, by Nick Gray, offer great how-to guides.) Above all, the return to a communitarian America will require us to remember one key fact: We need each other.