To toast a great victory or drown your sorrows, we devised a game for Americans of all political stripes.
America, the midterm elections are upon us. Millions of Americans will today exercise their right to self-government, filling in bubbles or tapping a box on an electronic machine, participating in our glorious republic’s democratic system.
Millions more will watch with anticipation as results pour in from across the nation all night long and into the wee hours of the morning — and, for some states that have trouble counting, for days to come.
It’s expected to be a rough night for Republicans, with Democrats hoping for a blue wave to sink Trump’s unified government, effectively making him a lame duck for his final two years in office. But Republicans hope that the strategy of placing Donald Trump front and center during campaign season will bring out his loyal supporters, softening the anti-incumbent blow typically dealt to the president’s party.
Billions of dollars have been spent to color your television screen with ads and fill your mailbox and front door handle with mailers and flyers. Tonight marks the end of a contentious midterm election season and the beginning of a new chapter in American politics.
To toast a great victory or drown your sorrows, we devised a game for Americans of all political stripes to unite in our greatest American tradition: drinking. (We follow in the footsteps of previous National Review drinking game architects, Zach Kessel and Haley Strack.)
May the exit polls forever be in your favor.
Drink if . . .
- Trump says a race was “stolen” or “rigged.”
- A pundit says, “We might not know who won this race for days.”
- It all comes down to the fake Dan Sullivan in Alaska.
- The North Carolina Senate race is called within 20 minutes of polls closing.
- An MS NOW pundit calls Michigan voters Islamophobic.
- A pundit on One America News Network floats the dissolution of the union.
- Bo French applauds Amy Acton’s victory over Vivek Ramaswamy in the Ohio gubernatorial race.
- A Republican congressional candidate outperforms 2024 Trump in their district.
- Somebody says “MAGA is dead.”
- A foreign language is spoken in a victory or concession speech.
- Trump posts anything AI-generated on Truth Social.
- A Republican candidate wins and thanks Trump in their victory speech.
- A Republican candidate loses and still thanks Trump in their concession speech.
- You go to bed before polls in Alaska close (12:45 a.m. ET).
- A deep blue precinct magically finds 10,000 Democratic ballots.
- A tear is shed on live TV. (Both tears of joy and of dread are eligible.)
- Someone on CNN floats Jon Ossoff as a 2028 presidential candidate.
- A libertarian gets more than 2 percent of the vote in any election.
- Haley Stevens switches her endorsement back to Abdul El-Sayed.
- Elon Musk drops another last-minute $150 million on Ken Paxton.
- Hasan Piker shows his face at El-Sayed’s watch party.
- Finish your drink if Trump bombs Iran before the end of the night.
And for those of you who are perpetually sober, please consider the following as substitutes for shots:
- Take a gulp of your Dr. Pepper for every House seat Democrats flip.
- Squeeze lemons into your eyes if Mehdi Hasan appears on your television.
- Come up with a new definition for socialism every time JD Vance tweets something.
- Wink at Ken Paxton every time he winks at you.
- Buy a MyPillow if Mike Lindell says the election in Minnesota was stolen.