It can come across as whinging when supporters of historically successful franchises bemoan their team experiencing doldrums, but have you seen the Packers play? Uff da!
We may be a spoiled fan base — what with our years of playoff appearances and league-leading offense — and contemptible as a result, but it must be said that the Green Bay Packers (3-3) are downright terrible, and that their season is likely over after six weeks. We’ve lost to the Giants, Jets, and Vikings. What’s next? Will the Tennessee Volunteers go pro after defeating ’Bama and sack Aaron Rodgers seven times before the half? I believe it possible. The Packers are goners, bums, and absolute dog water. They’re tepid garbage in a Shopko bag — and Shopko has been closed for three years. A decrepit and expensive team with abysmal offensive-line play and a mediocre wide receiver corps wedded to a churlish princess at quarterback; I despair of them.
I say all of this as a co-owner of the team — the Abels lay claim to the Kohler-brand actuation lever on the third urinal in section 126’s men’s bathroom or the pump in the nacho-cheese dispenser nearest section 102; it’s difficult to verify which, but they perform the same function. Apologies to the other Packer fans out there. You deserve better; the ownership has failed you. I humbly take 1/537,000 of the blame for this season’s misery.
The Packers aren’t good, and losing to the Jets 27–10 on Sunday confirms it. Fire the coaches, start the off-season, and bring on the draft; we need a new team.
Sincerely,
An Optimistic Packers Fan