A specter is haunting the Republican Party — the specter of another James Fishback campaign.
A specter is haunting the Republican Party — the specter of another James Fishback campaign.
Fresh off a walloping in the Republican primary contest to succeed Ron DeSantis as governor of Florida, the 31-year-old investor and part-time Groyper embarked on a college speaking tour. On Tuesday, in front of a packed room of University of Virginia students, he announced intentions to effectively burn pallets of money (illegal) and run for president in 2028.
He followed up on X on Wednesday: “After the midterms, my wife and I will travel to Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina to hold public town halls. Then, after reflection and prayer, we will make our decision official.”
For those uninitiated, James Fishback’s gubernatorial primary race sounded like a Nick Fuentes livestream if it had to abide by FCC public airwaves regulations — no outright slurs, but the same deafening symphony of racial and antisemitic dog whistles that would make the local shelter descend into anarchy and David Duke blush.
Throughout his campaign, totally-not-racist-or-antisemitic Fishback would call soon-to-be Republican nominee Byron Donalds, black, “a slave” and “chimp.” He also called Donalds “By’rone” and warned that Donalds, who was endorsed by President Trump, would turn Florida into a “Section 8 ghetto.” Yikes!
When confronted at a rally by a black man about the allegations against him over sexual misconduct with a 17-year-old in 2022, Fishback told him, “You should be lynched.”
On policy, Fishback was and remains vehemently opposed to the construction of data centers and promised to end foreign student enrollment at state colleges and universities. He also promised to divest all state pension funds from Israel, while obsessively railing against the Jewish state at almost every chance he could.
His platform also paid homage to conservative icon Michelle Obama’s war against unhealthy school lunches, making it the central tenet of his pitch to his two dozen supporters across the state.
Departing from Mrs. Obama’s candor and grace as a first lady, Fishback went hard and immediately called out the perfidious forces behind unhealthy school lunches: the Jews.
Fishback lambasted the “goyslop” in Florida school lunches, poisoning the state’s next generation. If you’re a normal person and do not know what “goyslop” is, let me explain. An antisemitic conspiracy theory dressed up as internet slang, “goyslop” claims ultra-processed food, fast food, and mass-produced goods — basically all of the delicious food — are hypnotic weapons deployed by Jews to subjugate non-Jews.
After running a campaign that would make Pat Buchanan blush, Fishback got 10. 4 percent of the vote on Election Day, finishing third behind Florida Lieutenant Governor Jay Collins and edging out “Deez Nuts,” who unsuccessfully ran for president in 2016.
But Fishback doesn’t seem to let defeat get in his way. He wants to make it to the White House. He can’t, not least because you need a lot of people to (a) like you and (b) like you enough to vote for you over normal people.
Thankfully, another mighty force is standing in the way of Fishback’s moonshot presidential bid: the Constitution. Article II, Section 1, Clause 5 doesn’t allow demagogues under 35 to become the leader of the free world. Fishback, born January 1, 1995, will be 34 at the time of the 2029 inauguration.
I am again awestruck by the founders’ brilliance. We are saved from a President Fishback — for now.