X has been alight this week over a post made by a Lebanese-American influencer, former Miss New Jersey, and self-described “Foreign Policy Analyst,” Sameera Khan. I can’t say I know much about her, other than that she hates most American women. Given that I am one (last time I checked), I can’t say my feelings toward her are very warm and fuzzy, either.
Khan’s X account is now on private, presumably from all the pushback to her original posts — the words of which have been archived by other outlets. In particular, Khan was objecting to the lifestyle and accent of Hannah Barron, an all-American girl from the South who enjoys noodling catfish, nabbing ten-point bucks, and helping her dad build houses — which she has been doing since she was 15 years old.
For starters, Khan posted a TikTok of Barron walking through a house in the process of construction, and wrote —
This accent needs to be illegal and women should be banned from doing manual labour like this. There is NOTHING feminine about American women. American women are literally men.
Khan added some additional, ehr, ethnically oriented opinions:
Lebanese women are literally perfect. And they are actually feminine, unlike estrogen-deficient American women who hold the record for highest testosterone levels in the world.
Khan then posted a video of Barron catching a catfish barehanded with the caption:
High-value American men should become passport bros. Don’t they deserve better than the filth they are limited to in their own country…? Do you agree or disagree? What are your thoughts?
Khan further claimed that the United States is under a “tomboy occupation.”
Barron is a strong brunette in the prime of her life — bright-eyed, joyful, and clearly hardworking.
Barron has a large social-media presence — and her following has certainly grown in the wake of the controversy — but her days are not spent hunched over, online. She spends the bulk of her time outside, hunting, fishing, building, etc.
Khan accused Barron of many great evils, foremost among them: being a tomboy. (Gasps were audible. Pearls were clutched. What has become of American women??)
I have news for you, Sameera Khan: The performance of femininity is not what makes a woman a woman. Barron is no more or less a woman for wading in mud or hauling cement blocks.
She simply is one. (And a pretty badass one, for the record.)
The fact that this needs to be said reveals the absurdity of gender discourse in the 21st century. Womanhood is determined by a person’s affiliation with a category of stereotypically feminine things.
This is the wrong order of causation — conventionally feminine performance does not make a person a woman. Rather, womanhood itself imbues a woman’s being with femininity.
Throwing on a pink dress, high heels, extensions, and a bowl of makeup, does not turn someone into a woman. Unfortunately, there’s a plethora examples of this happening all over the place (See: Caroline Downey’s work). If a man has a lot of money and time to invest in the project of “feminization,” he might even emerge with a fairly convincing performance.
The inverse consequence of rooting womanhood in stereotypically feminine performance is that actual women who do not accord to such standards are deemed “men.”
Women might accord more closely with the colloquial meaning of the term “feminine” (pretty, soft, unperturbed, cute) when dolled up and in a dress, but true femininity is much greater than this.
True femininity has as many instantiations as there are women on earth. What might it look like? A mother — unshowered and exhausted — getting up in the middle of the night to breastfeed her baby. A little girl tucking her favorite Hot Wheels car into bed. Sisters pulling on each other’s hair. Female athletes competing in women’s sports. A woman pushing a small human being out of her body. A teenage girl nervously getting ready for prom. Or even — a southern gal noodling a catfish.