This week brought the news of the recent death of Charles E. Entenmann, 92, who helped turn his family bakery into a national brand of boxed pastries and desserts. Many people, especially those in the NY-metro area, grew up eating Entenmann’s desserts. I have many fond memories of destroying boxes of their cookies and cakes. In my house, we typically skipped the step of cutting the cake into slices and simply dug right in with a fork (we weren’t great at sharing in my family). As part of a tribute to Entenmann and his legacy, I have compiled a ranking of the bakery’s top ten desserts.
Before proceeding, I would just offer one caveat. In this list, I have focused on products that are in regular and wide production and highlighted on the company website. I’m sure boxed pastry aficionados can point to more obscure or seasonal offerings. For my part, I loved their chocolate blackout cake (in the style of the legendary Ebinger’s Blackout Cake), but I have not seen it since around 2002. I had a bit of a tres leches cake addiction in 2005, but it’s been a long time since I’ve come across that one.
Without further delay, here are the definitive rankings:
10) NY-Style Crumb Cake — If you want something similar to the crumb donuts described below, but prefer a cake format, this is a really good option. Truth be told, I prefer the softer Drake’s Coffee Cakes as mass-produced coffee cakes go, as the Entenmann’s version has harder crumbles. But this is still a solid option in the crumb-cake genre.
9) Cheese Danish Twist — The name says it all. Nothing fancy, but even a standard cheesy danish with some icing on top is still pretty damn good.
8) Pop’ems — These are tasty glazed donut holes. Back in the day, this was one of my go-to items to bring to parties when I knew beverages were already covered. They did not disappoint.
7) Marble Loaf Cake — Simple and good. That about sums it up. Just sweet enough to pack a punch without being overwhelming. Versatile as a good treat with a hot beverage, or as a dessert. To kick it up a notch, you can add whipped cream and berries.
6) Raspberry Danish Twist — This is a really great dessert option that could double as a breakfast food if you’re under 25, or just feeling decadent — a mix of cake, with raspberry jam running through, and drippings of white icing on top.
5) Chocolate Fudge Cake — A classic chocolate cake with a rich chocolate icing. While this has a great taste, the icing can harden, especially in colder weather, and become a distinct unit from the cake. On many occasions, I have had the icing stick to my fork and separate from the cake, requiring awkward attempts to try and reassemble the cake and maintain the ratio. Still, the flavor is strong and the cake part moist, so it’s worth dealing with this one issue — especially if you are in need of a chocolate bomb.
4) Louisiana Crunch Cake — This one doesn’t get enough credit and offers a bit of variety. It’s a tube cake, with a nice crunch to it as well as coconut flavor. I remember one time being sick in my room during grad school with just a Louisiana Crunch Cake handy, and it served me well.
3) Crumb Donuts — While the company produces a variety of donuts, the two types that I have in mind when I think of Entenmann’s involve crumbs on top. One of them is the standard buttery donut with glaze and pellet-sized crumbs on top, and another is the Devil’s Food crumb donuts, which have chocolate cake and crumbs, but are also glazed and with some powdery sugar on top. The other donuts are not as good (for instance, I find that the chocolate-coated ones lack flavor).
2) Chocolate Chip Cookies — These are the perfect small chocolate chip cookies, soft enough to be chewy but firm enough to maintain structural integrity. A distinct flavor and the right ratio of chips to cookie dough. This is a great product for sharing with friends without the need for utensils or plates. It’s a challenge to avoid eating the whole box in one session, as you can pop them like M&Ms.
1) Marshmallow Devil’s Iced Cake — The king of them all. Moist chocolate cake, smooth white frosting, and more crumbles of chocolate cake on top. None of the icing separation issues described above in the Chocolate Fudge Cake come with this one, as the frosting remains soft and fuses perfectly with the cake, delivering the perfect texture to match the explosive flavor. You could serve this to me at a fine-dining restaurant and I’d have a big smile on my face.