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Parents everywhere must be familiar with this sort of thing by now. Thinking about taking the wee-one to the aquarium in Newport, OR today. Was checking their website for details. The good news: “Children are free!” The bad — but typical — news: “Children” are defined as 2 and under.

General Admission Rates (includes admission to all aquarium exhibits) are as follows:

Adult: (13-64) $14.25

Seniors: (65+) $12.25

Youth: (3-12) $8.75

Children (0-2) are free!

So for those of you with kids under the age of 12 but over the age of 2, you don’t have “children,” you have youths!

Of course, Barack Obama’s position on when life begins would require an asterisk somewhere in here or maybe something like “(Wanted) Children (0-2) are free!”

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