The Corner

Watchdog

Alex:

Shouldn’t that be “ombudsperson”?

In any case, I am honored to accept the position, and have composed a

celebratory ode to meet the occasion.

Lines on Assuming Guardianship of National Review’s Moral Fiber

by John Derbyshire

Condemned to blog while others play,

Ye wretched hacks!–Now mind your style!

Be careful what you write and say

For I’ll be watching all the while!

There’ll be some rules: No making up stuff –

This is not the New York Times!

One “Simpsons” quote per day’s enough,

And Trek allusions count as crimes.

Of President and Flag we’ll write

With due respect, as people oughta.

Not POTUS nor his kin we’ll slight

(And definitely not his daughter.)

The only leeway I’ll allow

Is for the French–on them, please vent.

They’ve got it coming, anyhow–

Puncture their self-aggrandizement!

Now write with care. My watchful eye

Is on you, and I shall not flinch

To punish, when a fault I spy.

You have been warned — I AM THE GRINCH!

John Derbyshire — Mr. Derbyshire is a former contributing editor of National Review.
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