The Corner

For Your Eyes Only

Alright, I’ve addressed the national implications of the Michigan Civil Rights Initiative at some length (see my post, “Another Ugly Video,” below).  So at this point, as once before, I’d like to respectfully request Corner readers who do not vote in Michigan to skip the rest of this post, which is directed exclusively toward registered voters in Michigan.

….OK, they’re gone.  What a bunch of bozos.  Can you believe the way conservatives in those other 49 states are planning to stay home on election day.  Idiocy on that level is tough to fathom.  Fortunately, you Michigan voters haven’t a doltish bone in your bodies.

The last time I was in Michigan, I drove up from the University of Chicago to visit a wonderful national “dunes” park.  I think it was this one. As I sat on the beach, staring at the painted turtles and running my hands through all that amazing Kalkaska sand, I remember finding several highly polished petosky stones, and even a single, beautiful green star stone.  Holding those stones, as I walked back to the bed-and-breakfast through fields of apple blossom and dwarf lake iris, I could see a magnificent stand of white pine trees in the distance.  Imagine my thrill when, on approaching those pines, a single magnificent white-tailed deer bounded out and ran toward the field of iris.  Back at the inn, listening to the robins outside and eating a glorious dinner of brook trout, I pondered with growing disgust the egregiously discriminatory policies of the University of Michigan, recognizing that failure to overturn this practice might permanently enshrine reverse discrimination as the policy of this great nation.

What’s wrong with this country?  I’ll tell you what’s wrong with this country.  We’ve got 49 states worth of sticky soil, jagged stones, ugly gems, cruddy flowers, normal sized lake irises, trees without cones, dark-tailed mammals, birds that don’t usher in spring, trout from bodies of water that are not brooks, unpainted reptiles, and conservatives who won’t go to the polls on election day.  That’s what’s wrong with this country.

But you Michigan voters aren’t like that.  You’ve got paint on your reptiles, your lake irises are drawfs, and most of all, you’ve got the smarts to get to the polls on election day, pass the Michigan Civil Rights Initiative, and make sure that a bunch of no account Democrats don’t get their hands on the levers of power in Washington, D.C.  Voters of Michigan, remember what your mothers told you.  Just because conservatives in the rest of the country are determined to commit political suicide by dumping their votes into Lake Michigan doesn’t mean you have to follow them in.  Stay on those dunes.  Run your fingers through that amazing Kalkaska sand, and pull the lever for the MCRI on election day, sandy fingers and all.

OK, let’s keep this just between us.  They’re baaaaack….


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