News from our produce department:
“Beware of Israeli melons infected with AIDS arriving in Saudi Arabia!” is the latest rumor being spread throughout Saudi Arabia like a wildfire.
An SMS message being sent around the country this week said, “The Saudi Interior Ministry warns its citizens of a truck loaded with AIDS infected melons that Israel brought into the country via a ‘ground corridor.’”
The Mossad are notorious for corrupting upstanding Arabs through their use of sinister Zionist honey traps, and I have to confess my first thought on hearing of the fabulous Israeli melons was that the female agents had had some work done. But apparently it’s the genuine article. One looks forward to public service announcements on safe fruits: You can’t elope with a cantaloupe, etc.
In a broader strategic sense, the melon may be a useful wedge into the Muslim world. For example, “Turkmen Leader Inspires Devotion To Melon“:
Turkmenistan has devoted a day of festivities to celebrate the country’s muskmelon, a close relative of the watermelon.
The holiday was inspired by President Saparmurat Niyazov, who prefers to be known as Turkmenbashi, or leader of the Turkmens.
Interestingly, under the late President Niyazov, Turkmenistan was just about the only stan on the planet where the young men weren’t all hot for jihad. Something in the melons?