Magazine | October 31, 2011, Issue



Looking for chill, progressive person to share ride to #occupywallstreet protest in New York. Me: 28, inked, Ph.D. candidate in Modern French Outsider Fiction, progressive, smart, great conversationalist, diverse playlist on iTunes for DJing during trip. You: have gas money, car, room for my stuff. Please REPLY WITH FACE PIC!!


Saw you in park when I was walking to work. I was in a suit and walking with some other bankers. You were shouting at us and holding a sign that said “Die Banker Pigs.” Our eyes met for a moment and I thought there was a connection or something. Was going to find you later during lunch but ended up on a long conference call with Zurich. Then had a business dinner at Le Bernardin. Would love to meet up. Tell me what your T-shirt said so I know it’s you.


Looking for a chill, progressive person to pick me up at #occupywallstreet protest in downtown Manhattan and give me a ride back to my parents’ house so I can pick up my iPhone charger and do my laundry. MUST BE progressive, independent revolutionary with total commitment to global change. Also, must have gas money. I have E-Z Pass unit for tolls from my parents’ car. PLEASE REPLY with evidence that you’re committed to the mission of economic justice. Will follow you on Twitter and see how it goes.


Not sure if this is you. You were a guy in a suit walking with some other d-bags to your office tower where you wield your unelected power against the working people of the world. I hate you and everything you stand for and if you think we shared “a moment” you’re even more deluded than I thought a person like you could be. If you still want to meet, I’m certainly up for it, but expect to be educated about the destruction you and your kind have unleashed on the world. Oh, and my T-shirt was the “Hello Kitty” logo with the kitty’s fist raised up in revolutionary solidarity. So what about it, pig? Do you have the guts?


Looking for chill, progressive person with a tent and a sleeping bag I can borrow for extended service at the #occupywallstreet protest in downtown Manhattan. My camping equipment is unavailable to me (parents away on a cruise; locked out of house; long story) but if you have these items (and ONLY if you have these items) plus a car and can pick me up at my parents’ house which is more convenient than the train station due to long walk required etc. then PLEASE respond to this WITH FACE PIC.


Okay, it’s you. That was the T-shirt. I’m the guy in the suit with the spread collar and the bright-green tie. We locked eyes. You are very beautiful, and I’ve been thinking about your eyes since yesterday morning. I can’t get you out of my mind. And of course I’d love to hear what you guys are all yelling about and what drives you to act with such passion and commitment. All I’m asking is that you give me a chance. Dinner tonight? Do you like Asian fusion cuisine? Or classic French? Your call. I’m just coming to listen.


Need a ride from the #occupywallstreet protest in downtown Manhattan to my orthodontist on Thursday AM. Please be thoughtful and progressive and committed to global change. Also: Be willing to wait while I have my appointment and drive me back to the protest. (Would move my appointment but parents made it.) STRONGLY PREFER hybrid vehicle.



Fine. We’re on. But prepare to have your mind blown and your world turned upside down by what I’m going to unload on you. This is not — repeat NOT — a date because as you know I hate you and everything you represent. This is going to be a TEACHABLE MOMENT. Please pick me up at 7 PM around the corner from the protest location. (I need to change and etc. and don’t want to deal with the explanations just yet.) Is there any chance we can go to Restaurant Daniel? I hear that’s got an amazing tasting menu. Not that I care.


Large camping tent, with sleeping bag, outdoor cooking equipment, outdoor clothes and boots, Sharpie pens, and assorted revolutionary texts. Will unload for almost nothing. Need to get rid of all of these things ASAP as I am moving in with my boyfriend.

In This Issue


Politics & Policy

Action Report

‘I’d say it’s been quite considerable,” says Ed Feulner, “judging from both the friendly and critical calls that I hear on a routine basis from Capitol Hill.” Feulner, the longtime ...
Politics & Policy

Quotin’ Obama

When an MSNBC commentator accuses someone of racism, it’s dog bites man. MSNBC is a Left-heavy channel; the Left can hardly talk without accusing others of racism. Last month, however, ...
Politics & Policy

Occupy Salem

So there were Hula Hoops, a composting station, facially pierced trustafarians eating quiche, 9/11 truthers and U.S.S. Liberty truthers, the Black Panther Party, a demand that you “define your aesthetic, ...


Politics & Policy

The Storm-Calmer

Baton Rouge, La. — The Louisiana Democratic party has effectively conceded this year’s gubernatorial race. This does not mean merely that the party could not find a big-name challenger — ...

Books, Arts & Manners

Politics & Policy

To Serve and Protect

In a New York Times obituary published a few days after his death earlier this year, William J. Stuntz’s onetime boss at Harvard Law School, Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan, ...
Politics & Policy

A Left Fairy Tale

Near the midway point of The Ides of March, George Clooney’s handsome new movie about a fictional battle for the Democratic presidential nomination, I found myself trying to imagine the ...
The Straggler

Words, Words, Words

  The launching of a conservative weekly journal of opinion in a country widely assumed to be a bastion of conservatism at first glance looks like a work of supererogation, rather ...


Politics & Policy

The Week

‐ A bunch of obnoxious, freakish-looking people made a spectacle of themselves in downtown New York. You don’t say. ‐ “There is a tide in the affairs of men / Which ...
The Long View


RIDESHARES WANTED: Looking for chill, progressive person to share ride to #occupywallstreet protest in New York. Me: 28, inked, Ph.D. candidate in Modern French Outsider Fiction, progressive, smart, great conversationalist, diverse ...

Null, Spacy

Moving stones from one place to another is an ancient human pastime. For thousands of years, it’s all they had to do. You can build an astrological observatory with religious ...
Politics & Policy


HEAVEN AND EARTH Experience of life: its routines; the workaday world; home leisure, reassuring in their way, buttress our sense of life’s rational elements, its continuity upholding our need for a beginning, a middle, ...
Happy Warrior

Revolution, Inc.

You won’t be surprised to hear that Ben & Jerry’s, the hippie-dippy Vermont ice-cream makers, have come out in favor of “Occupy Wall Street.” Or as their press release puts ...
Politics & Policy


Suicide Dissolution In their argument against assisted suicide (“Western Suttee,” October 17), Diederik Boomsma and Jonathan Price claim that “a state recognizing an inalienable right to die could not be anything ...

Most Popular


Joy Reid Denies Writing Homophobic Blog Posts

MSNBC personality Joy Reid's former blog, The Reid Report, published a series of anti-gay posts, which she claims were added to the site after it was shut down, by a hacker intent on destroying her reputation and nascent cable-news career. Reid, who discontinued the blog roughly a decade ago, apologized in ... Read More

The Lure of Outsiderism

In a Wall Street Journal piece this weekend recounting his brief and harrowing recent experience at The Atlantic, Kevin Williamson ably notes a common pattern in this moment in our national life. Discussing a panel he attended at the chic South by Southwest conference, he writes: Which brings us back to that ... Read More

Monday Links

A Supercut of Epic Movie Explosions. Can You Solve These 10 Medieval Riddles? The cost to make a Margherita pizza: $1.77. How much restaurants charge on average for a pizza: $12. The actual costs of restaurant foods. Vintage animation lessons -- how to make things cute. London's "Great ... Read More

On Trade, No One Is Waiting for Washington

President Donald Trump’s flips and flops on trade are now as ubiquitous as his 5:00 a.m. tweets. Many predicted that trade-expansion efforts would come to a standstill and world commerce would suffer amidst all the uncertainty. Instead, the precise opposite has happened. In the last few months, it’s become ... Read More
National Security & Defense

Trump’s Syria Quandary

President Trump raised eyebrows recently when he ended a tweet lauding the airstrikes he’d ordered against chemical-weapons facilities in Syria with the words “mission accomplished.” The phrase, of course, became infamous in the aftermath of the invasion of Iraq, when President Bush used it in a speech ... Read More

Confirm Pompeo

What on earth are the Democrats doing? President Trump has nominated CIA director Mike Pompeo, eminently qualified by any reasonable standard, to be America’s 70th secretary of state. And yet the Senate Democrats, led by Chuck Schumer, have perverted the advice and consent clause of the Constitution into a ... Read More
PC Culture

The Dark Side of the Starbucks Stand-Down

By now the story is all over America. Earlier this month, two black men entered a Starbucks store in Philadelphia. They were apparently waiting for a friend before ordering — the kind of thing people do every day — and one of the men asked to use the restroom. A Starbucks employee refused, saying the restroom ... Read More