Magazine | March 19, 2012, Issue

Official Transcript: Larry Ching Live

On CCTV, February 28, 2013

LARRY CHING: From Harbin, in Heilongjiang Province, ni hao!

CALLER: Ni hao, Larry, and ni hao to your guest.

FORMER SENATOR FROM PENNSYLVANIA SANTORUM RICK: Yes, hello.

LARRY CHING: Do you have a question for the American person?

CALLER: Yes, Larry, I have a question for Santorum Rick. Santorum Rick, you have suggested that had the Republicans nominated you last year for the high commission, you would have beaten Obama Barack in the election. My question is, if this is so, why have you not called for a trial for Romney Mitt under the charge of treason?

LARRY CHING :Good question, caller! So what do you say, Santorum Rick?

FORMER SENATOR FROM PENNSYLVANIA SANTORUM RICK: It’s Rick Santorum.

LARRY CHING: What did I say?

FORMER SENATOR FROM PENNSYLVANIA SANTORUM RICK: You said Santorum Rick. We do it backwards in the United States.

LARRY CHING: You certainly do! You certainly do!

FORMER SENATOR FROM PENNSYLVANIA SANTORUM RICK: But if I may, to the caller’s point, look, we don’t do that in the United States. We have free elections, and the people chose to vote for the other candidate. Do I think they would have voted for me? Yes, of course. But, you know, you take your cards as they are dealt.

LARRY CHING: Santorum Rick is a gambling man?

FORMER SENATOR FROM PENNSYLVANIA SANTORUM RICK:Um, no, Larry. I disapprove of gambling.

LARRY CHING: No gambling, no prostitutes, hey! Don’t go to Harbin during the Rose Petal Festival, huh?

FORMER SENATOR FROM PENNSYLVANIA SANTORUM RICK: I’m not familiar with that reference.

LARRY CHING: Tomorrow night! The whole hour with Han Han! Do you know Han Han, Mr. Santorum Rick?

FORMER SENATOR FROM PENNSYLVANIA SANTORUM RICK: No, I don’t.

LARRY CHING: Chinese blogger. Very controversial. Interesting fellow.

FORMER SENATOR FROM PENNSYLVANIA SANTORUM RICK: I’m surprised you’re allowed to have him on.

LARRY CHING: Oh yes. Very free society we have here. From Shenyang Province! Is the caller there?

CALLER: Ni hao, Larry!

LARRY CHING: Ni hao! What’s your question for the failed American politician Mr. Santorum Rick?

CALLER: My question is, does he think that the next president should be Lin Jeremy?

LARRY CHING: Good question! Yes! Mr. Santorum Rick — Lin Jeremy! Talk to me! Next great American president?

FORMER SENATOR FROM PENNSYLVANIA SANTORUM RICK: Um, well, I admire Jeremy Lin very much. He’s an excellent basketball star. And I especially admire his Christian faith –

LARRY CHING: Whoa. Hold the phone. His what?

FORMER SENATOR FROM PENNSYLVANIA SANTORUM RICK: Jeremy Lin, if you don’t know, is a very committed and devout Christian.

LARRY CHING: Did not know that.

FORMER SENATOR FROM PENNSYLVANIA SANTORUM RICK: Yes. And I’m sure that if he decides to run for office in the future — and that’s a big if, by the way — his Christian faith will have a lot to do with it.

LARRY CHING: Weird. Weird.

FORMER SENATOR FROM PENNSYLVANIA SANTORUM RICK: Not really. In the United States, you see –

LARRY CHING: From Urumqi, ni hao!

CALLER: Ni hao, Larry. I have a question for Santorum Rick. Does he have any contact with President Clinton Hillary?

LARRY CHING: Good question. Late-night calls? Brunch conversations?

FORMER SENATOR FROM PENNSYLVANIA SANTORUM RICK:I hate to disappoint you, Larry, and you, Caller, but President Clinton doesn’t really reach out to me.

LARRY CHING: Were you surprised by the turn of events?

FORMER SENATOR FROM PENNSYLVANIA SANTORUM RICK: Well, of course, when a sitting American president is revealed to be a Kenyan national, we’re all a little surprised.

LARRY CHING: Were you surprised that it was Clinton Bill who figured it out?

FORMER SENATOR FROM PENNSYLVANIA SANTORUM RICK: Less so.

LARRY CHING: Tomorrow night! The whole hour with the cast of Drive Away the Japanese!

FORMER SENATOR FROM PENNSYLVANIA SANTORUM RICK: I thought tomorrow’s show was with that controversial blogger, Han Han?

LARRY CHING: Just canceled. Little bug in my ear went kablooey.

FORMER SENATOR FROM PENNSYLVANIA SANTORUM RICK: I see.

Rob Long — Rob Long, Hollywood writer and producer, started his career as a screenwriter for the TV show Cheers. He is a regular writer for National Review, Newsweek International, and the Los ...

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