Magazine July 30, 2012, Issue

War of the Worldviews

Mitt Romney in Des Moines, Iowa, May 30, 2007 (Joshua Lott/Reuters)

A  recent National Geographic survey found that Americans trusted Barack Obama over Mitt Romney in the case of an alien invasion. Sixty-five percent to 35 percent. It is not clear whether this was a poll of likely idiots or registered idiots, but it made headlines in USA Today. What’s their rationale? Some possible answers:

His surrender skills are second to none. You can imagine Obama holding a joint press conference after the alien fleet has reduced the world’s capitals to ashes with their Zeta-beam rays. He leans over, thinking the mics are off: “Please tell Zkuti‡sgh!t the Unbearable, Scourge of the

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