Magazine | December 31, 2014, Issue

From the Twitter feed of Kim Jung-un, @youthcaptain.

Seriously? Guys, just heard the wildest rumor about a movie Sony is making about yours truly! So excited! Getting deets ASAP from military intelligence! #gonnabeastar #gonnashinesobright #itsshowtime

Hey! @kimkardashian! I can do that with a glass of champagne too! Follow me back so I can DM you! #weshouldgettogether #bffs #thinkingaboutlaunchingalineofsportswear

#tbt to when my dad and I first met! #iwasfifteen #awkwardteenyears #helovedmeright?

Hillary’s inevitability is also her greatest liability. Strength can also be weakness. @newyorktimeseditorialboard Please consider me for when @paulkrugman is on vacation or giving a speech.

Not getting the dudes on @sharktankABC. Would so fund that WiFi-powered dog leash it’s crazy. Lunch and dinner just an app click away. #nobrainer

1/ Hard for some of my Tweeps to understand, but when you’re famous crazy rumors get started about you! Amirite @justinbieber and @richardgere??

2/ Sort of left the spotlight for a bit to get my head together. Talked to @unclesoon about maybe taking a step back from leadership to work on my screenplay . . .

3/ Was not — repeat not — under house arrest! LOL! #priceofcelebrity

Hello @sony executives. Have heard you guys are doing a movie about me! Awesome sauce! Have a suggestion about who can play me!

@sony Ahem ahem! Here’s me in my underwear! Been working out. FYI: Underwear may not be visible yet but let me keep hitting the gym!

To @revalsharpton really impressed that you’ve kept off the weight. Saw you on MSNBC totes DESTROYING the wingnuts re #Ferguson and couldn’t take my eyes off your suit! No carbs? Low fat? #helpabrotherout

Deep thots: When you spend a whole month locked in your room with nothing but your Sony PlayStation, you get *really* good at Sony PlayStation! Thanks, @unclesoon! #noseriously #nothousearrest

Hey! @taylorswift I think I matched you on @tinder but swiped left by mistake! DM me! Was just trying to wipe off some BBQ sauce! #yagottalaugh #datingsucks

Advice needed: If a person was locked in his room for several months #nothousearrest and then gets out and then wants to do that thing on the Internet where you dump ice water on your head, is it too late now? #allwehaveisdialupinternethere

Really upset. I mean, @unclesoon tells me I’m crying harder than I did when we couldn’t get that factory to make that pizza where there’s cheese in the crust. I can’t even say what I just heard. #depressed

Can I please talk to you, @therealjamesfranco and @sethrogen?? You’re making a movie about killing me?????? WTF?? Like I’m not your biggest fan, at least your biggest fan east of the Yalu River? #callme #veryupset #willingtohearanexplanation

Hey! @mileycyrus! I think I matched you on @tinder but swiped left by mistake! DM me! Was just trying to wipe off some aioli! #yagottalaugh #datingsucks

Feel so weird about a movie about killing me from stars I totally worship. What did I ever do to deserve this? (Outside the official Korean border I mean.) #hurtful

@elizabethwarren Run, Liz, run! We need ya!

Still no word from @sony or @therealjamesfranco or @sethrogen about the movie they made where they kill me. Silence = disrespect. #racism

Did you guys know that if you hit the “Send Feedback” button on your networked PlayStation you can send an email directly to Sony execs? #theyregonnahearfromme

Any medical Tweeps out there please tell me if you can get shingles from stress? Think I’ve got some! And they’re exactly where you DON’T want shingles. Please hmb if you know what to do about them. WARNING: NSFW!!!!

Lots of weird feelings about the #uva #rollingstone story. Feeling totally violated by @sony and the guys. Always loved them and loved their movies and even defended Sony’s recent releases even though most of them totally bit. #evendictatorscanberaped #racism #standwithjackie

You know what hurts the most? The posters for that movie show me way way fatter than I am now. #slowcarbs #portioncontrol #stopcountingcalories #nodieindiet #sisepuede

Did you guys know that if you get melted cheese on your PlayStation while you’re sending an email to Sony execs and try to wipe it off with Mountain Dew you suddenly get to the Command Prompt of the Sony main database?

Please DM me anyone who knows what a Command Prompt is. Getting a lot of tsuris from @unclesoon for messing up my new PlayStation.

Ever since #knockedup @sethrogen has just been phoning it in. #truth


Did you guys know that when you get to the Command Prompt of a mainframe you can pretty much do anything and see anything in that computer? #whosstupidnow?

Hey Tweeps! Thanks to your #crowdsourcing help, I’m totally inside the whole @sony computer system. Know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna UPLOAD my screenplay into their system and BLOW THEIR MINDS with my talent. #successisrevenge

Ignore last tweet. @unclesoon has a different way to go.

In This Issue



Politics & Policy

To Carry the Fire

What we call the beginning is often the end And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.       – “Little Gidding,” Four Quartets, T. S. ...
Politics & Policy


Usually one makes the case for a policy before enacting it. Not so with the Left’s new push to promote long-acting reversible contraceptives (LARCs), such as intrauterine devices (IUDs) and ...

Books, Arts & Manners

Politics & Policy

Getting to Brussels

Since the emergence 25 years ago of his groundbreaking essay “The End of History,” Francis Fukuyama has become one of America’s foremost public intellectuals. Political Order and Political Decay is ...
Politics & Policy

Roots of a Tyrant

One brief paragraph terrorized Joseph Stalin. It was the postscript to the document known as Lenin’s Testament. That document has never been authenticated, yet it weighed on Stalin because, even ...


Politics & Policy


Fellow Heroes I read with great pleasure your piece in “The Week” (December 8) regarding the long-overdue awarding of the Medal of Honor to Lieutenant Alonzo Cushing. However, I feel called ...
Politics & Policy

The Week

‐ Think about it from Jeb’s perspective: Would you want to be the only Bush who doesn’t get to be president? ‐ An armed Islamic radical took hostages in a café ...


Showman scientist and charismatic universe-explainer Neil deGrasse Tyson had some tweets the other day on the subject “When I was your age.” They were lessons about technological progress, aimed at ...
Politics & Policy


PURSUIT She was a child possessed with fears Whose dreams revealed another place Where shadowed shapes that lived in mirrors Pursued her at a furious pace. She ran all night and every night And finally slept ...

Most Popular

PC Culture

Defiant Dave Chappelle

When Dave Chappelle’s Netflix special Sticks & Stones came out in August, the overwhelming response from critics was that it was offensive, unacceptable garbage. Inkoo Kang of Slate declared that Chappelle’s “jokes make you wince.” Garrett Martin, in the online magazine Paste, maintained that the ... Read More
Film & TV

Joker: An Honest Treatment of Madness

When I saw that the New York Times and The New Yorker had run columns berating the new Joker movie, criticizing it not simply on cinematic grounds but instead insisting that the film amounted to a clandestine defense of “whiteness” in an attempt to buttress the electoral aim of “Republicans” — this is a ... Read More

The Origins of the Transgender Movement

Editor’s Note: This article has been adapted from remarks delivered at a Heritage Foundation summit. I’ve been asked to talk about the origins of transgenderism and how it relates to children and their exploitation. But first, I would like to start with a little story. Yesterday I was wandering around ... Read More

The Democrats’ Disastrous CNN LGBT Town Hall

A few days after Donald Trump committed the worst foreign-policy blunder of his presidency by betraying America’s Kurdish allies in northern Syria, former vice president Joe Biden, the elder statesman and co-frontrunner in the Democratic presidential primary, was on a national stage talking to CNN’s primetime ... Read More
White House

What Is Impeachment For?

W hat is impeachment for? Seems like a simple question. Constitutionally speaking, it also appears to have a simple answer: to cite and remove from power a president guilty of wrongdoing. Aye, there’s the rub. What sort of wrongdoing warrants removal from power? I’d wager that the flames of ... Read More

CNN’s Anti-Religious Town Hall

LGBT activists gathered last week for CNN’s “Equality” town hall with the Democratic presidential candidates. The advocates present were, in the words of Human Rights Campaign President Alphonso David, the “tip of the spear in our fight for full equality.” The “spear” metaphor grew more apt as ... Read More