Magazine | March 23, 2015, Issue

A Professional Correspondence

Wilson & Sterling

A professional corporation 



Dear Steve:

Please find attached several unpaid invoices from this office, as representatives of our client, former secretary of state Hillary Rodham Clinton, directed to your office, as representatives of her loving husband, former president Bill Clinton. These invoices are now over 90 days past due and we really do have to insist on prompt payment in full.

As you know, Steve, both the original CONTINUATION-OF-MARRIAGE AGREEMENT and all subsequent addenda include fees payable by your client to our client for the various appearances, speeches, conversations, and other one-on-one events (please see Appendix XIV: Payment Schedule for Artifacts of Togetherness). Since the end of Q3 ’14, your client has withheld payment to our client for several joint appearances, three “fun” and “spontaneous” lunches that were planned and scheduled at some inconvenience to our client. This is a troublesome pattern.

As a gesture of goodwill, our client has agreed to consider all “family” and “family-type” events that occurred during the traditional Christian holiday of Christmas “on the house” and will withdraw all charges related to that time period. As those fees represent what would be, to any other vendor, charges in excess of $450,000, I think you can agree that our client is being exceptionally generous.

But please understand that while our client has great love for and devotion to your client and believes that the bedrock of their happy marriage consists in communicating entirely via counsel, she also knows that appearance fees and speaking income are a crucial part of her between-government-jobs livelihood, and is asking only for what has been previously agreed to.

When can we expect payment in full?

Best regards,


(dictated but not read)

Wilmer, Patton

A professional corporation



Dear Greg:

Many thanks for your letter.

Let me reiterate our client’s deep love and total commitment to your client, as both husband and helpmate, and once again reconfirm that, in most cases, he also prefers to communicate via counsel. Yet, despite the possibility of an unpleasant outburst of the kind that occurred during our last “sit-down” conference when, during a heated disagreement, and there’s no need to relitigate the whys and wherefores, your client threw an iPad mini, a crystal vase, and a woman’s shoe with mid-height heel at our client, who ducked — side note: you’ll be happy to know that the stenographer has regained both the eyesight in her remaining eye and on many days the power of speech — despite all of that, we still feel that an in-person discussion must ensue to rebalance the terms of the original and amended agreement(s).

In light of the increased scrutiny our client, the former president, is now required to live under — something he cheerfully agrees to, because of the love etc. he feels for your client and the long legal agreements that bind them together as a “family” — perhaps it is time to rethink the compensation schedule? Perhaps the actual payment terms should be reversed? Just food for thought as we enter a period of intense political activity on the national scene.

I look forward to hearing from you.



Via electronic mail

The Office of Chelsea Clinton

The Bill, Hillary, and Chelsea Clinton Foundation


Dear Greg and Steve:

Effective immediately, this letter serves as a termination notice for your services to my parents, former secretary of state Hillary Rodham Clinton and former president Bill Clinton.

While my parents have appreciated your many years of counsel and legal representation, they both feel that it is perhaps time to change the nature of their marriage. While they will continue to speak and communicate only via intermediaries, for the duration of the next presidential-election cycle that intermediary will be me. It is our feeling both as a “family unit” and as a Foundation that, in order to project a more wholesome and “normalized” image to the American public, communicating solely via paid legal counsel needs to be rethought. My parents will now express their deeply loving and affectionate feelings for each other through me, in my capacity as a director of the Foundation and as their only daughter.

We remain grateful for your service and discretion.

Please direct your offices to forward all files and documents and contemporaneous notes to my office here at the Foundation. Please forward your remaining unpaid invoices for legal work and counsel to HRH Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan, the Emir of Abu Dhabi, who has agreed to pay these for the Foundation.


Chelsea Clinton

(dictated but not read)

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