TO: All MSNBC On-Air Talent
IN RE: Financial Planning and Compliance Webinar
HR and senior administrative staff have decided to offer ALL on-air talent FREE financial advice! As some of you may know, we’ve offered our junior and lower-level staff financial products via the NBCU/Comcast corporate savings and investment plan, but this is the first time we’ve offered similar services for the on-air team at MSNBC!
If you’ve been reading the news lately, you’ll know that current tax laws have gotten more and more complicated. It seems like every day there’s another story in the news — not our news, of course, but other people’s news — about certain MSNBC on-air talent having trouble keeping track of just what the heck Uncle Sam is owed.
Over the past few weeks, we’ve heard from our on-air team that something has to be done about all of these complicated taxes! It’s a stressful and near-impossible task to maintain your vibrant and active roles on air, advocating for meaningful change in America’s fiscal and cultural policy, while at the same time complying with the details and drudgery of what the IRS demands!
You can’t do it all!
You asked, and we listened!
We’re offering several easy-to-take webinars on such subjects as saving and investing for retirement, the ins and outs of rental property, how and in what specific ways 501(c)3 funds must not be considered “income,” and many, many other fun and fascinating topics, including how to fill out a legal tax form and how, exactly, to write a check to cover your taxes for the current year!
Each webinar takes approximately 45 minutes to complete, along with a 15-minute “refresher quiz.” Don’t worry! It’s all very low-key! And as a special service to Ed Schultz and the Reverend Al Sharpton, there will be no math required!
Wait a minute, we can hear you say. How can those boring old subjects be fun and fascinating? What are we? Republicans??
LOL. No, we’re not! If we were, we’d be in trouble with the IRS!
So here’s how we make it fun:
In the first place, the webinars are conducted in a relaxed and go-at-your-own-pace tempo. In the second place, all of the relevant information about handling money and, for instance, paying your taxes is delivered in a high-energy hip-hop-style rap by two sunny, funny, clown-like characters, Notorious IRS and Da Big Bad Compliance Bear.
You’ll laugh and clap along with these two incorrigible trademarked characters, and before you know it you’ll be an expert in the arcane ways of federal and state income-tax law. You’ll be a master at adding up your income, plugging it into a popular online tax-preparing website, and instantly determining your personal tax liability!
Simple as that!
Notorious IRS and Da Big Bad Compliance Bear will make paying your legal taxes fun and lively. You’ll barely realize that you’ve learned anything at all, and you can appear on your MSNBC signature show with the confidence and swagger of someone who has paid taxes that year!
Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?
We’ll even assign each on-air personality a personal “tax concierge” to make sure that you pay your taxes in full each year, every year, for as long as you’re on the air at MSNBC.
Ask your personal “tax concierge” anything at all about your finances, your rental income, your current tax liens, anything at all! If necessary, we’ll even assign you two tax concierges to handle however many sets of books you keep!
What’s the catch?
There isn’t one! All of these financial products and services are free to you! That’s right! Absolutely no cost. Courtesy of the NBCU/Comcast management. We know that it’s hard enough to advocate for progressive activist government policies without the extra burden of filling out a 1040!
Sign up today in the main cafeteria! Just look for Notorious IRS and Da Big Bad Compliance Bear at the sign-up tables near the salad bar. (Note to Ed Schultz: The salad bar is that long stainless-steel counter that often attracts a crowd. Note to the Reverend Al Sharpton: Please do not eat directly from the salad bar.)
– The HR Team at NBCU/ Comcast
P.S. Please note that attendance at all of the webinars and training sessions is mandatory for all on-air talent. Failure to attend and demonstrate up-to-date tax status will result in immediate suspension.