Magazine | December 31, 2015, Issue

The True Sprit of Chrismas*

Many persons our ages of 12, 10, 8, 6 think the Sprit of Chrismas is about toys and presents instead of about the real sprit. These persons are immature and childless. As will be seen.

Today at Assembly, everybody got a copy and got read to, the U.N. Declaration of the Rights of the Child, which turned out it was the Chrismas present from the United Nations to all the children in the world, also which Pam, 12, and John, 10, have to write down about constructively, and Priscilla, 8, and Buckley, 6, be prepared to explane in there own words by Monday. This is our free-thinking thoughts, for nothing is black and white but grey.

The first part, before the Principles start, is very oratory and good except for puctuation (commas not periods after paragraphs) and reptitous (absolutely 5 paragraphs in a row begin with “Whereas”). Persons that are always tearing down, tearing down would probbly mock this instead of saying the United Nations did pretty good, spelling the long words this composition is absolutely full of.

PRINCIPLE 1: The child shall enjoy all the rights set forth in this Declaration. Every child, without any exception whatsoever, shall be entitled to these rights, without distinction or discrimination on account of race, color, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, property, birth or other status, whether of himself or of his family. Those who think will easly see that who their talking about is none other but the U.S. of America (world smelting pot), for in other countries from us (Europe, England, Russia, Wildest Africa, etc. etc. etc.) there isn’t enough different population from the main to do discrimination at. (Except by inmost feelings, hard to wipe out, unforch.)

Why do they drag in sex, one asks ourself? Because the United Nations regard sex purely, like dictionaries, where sex is if you are a boy or a girl (you can look it up) — not the reason children are not allowed to see practicly every movie in the whole world. It is a well-none fact that most parents comitt discrimination on children by sex (by wether they are male sex or female sex, other words.) Ex: — :Sataday mornings, boys (M. sex) have to clean out cars in a icecold subzero gerage, wile girls (F. sex) only have to vacume warm & cozy carpets. And yet again about color (sometimes meening race, but they already said race in this PRINCIPLE so they now meen color.); Why? Because, Ex: — :Some persons, who dirt shows on more than other persons because of there snow white color, are all the time getting it in the neck (like parents saying: “Good God, your angkles!!” venial sin) when that happens to be the exact night one washed with soap! All this shall end.

One thing the United Nations forgot: — :discrimination by age, like: — :In 2 years, could Pam, now age 12 drive a car in S. Carolina? Yes!! In Conn.? No!! Could Jim, our brother of 14, marry Linda who he loves in India? Yes!! In Conn.? No!! Showing that the U.N. forgot the main thing the child get’s discriminated for. BUT: after all: nobidies perfect:

PRINCIPLE 2 (really getting going): The child shall enjoy special protection and shall be given opportunities and facilities, by law and by other means, to enable him to develop physically, mentally, morally, spiritually, and socially in a healthy and normal manner and in conditions of freedom and dignity. Their going to start some laws, and unless quite a few parents wise up, we happen to know quite a few parents (including by marrage) that will end up incarserated. Because when the U.N. finds out, surely soon, that every single child in the world spends absolutely the best years of his life from infantry to adultery sitting on a hard seat, bending his head over books that is rooning his eyes and with the most absolutely boaring stuff poaring, poaring, poaring into his ears. At the same time when they breathe in constantly sniffing germs of namonia, chicken pocks, nefritus so they practicly only dare breathe out (practicly impossible): — all of which contrary to health and freedom: — then the U.N. will edict that this situation must CEACE!

PRINCIPLE 3: The child shall be entitled from his birth to a name and a nationality. This is also in the Sprit of Chrismas because it portects children from being called Blooper and Kiki even when big, which can become absolutely humalating. Ex: — :When John was born our brother Jim was 4 (dificult age) and Jim liked our Uncle Reid so he absolutely made every one call John “Uncle Reid” after him (Uncle Reid). Funny then, but how would John feel nowadays if Mrs. McLeod said in class: “Uncle Reid, suppose you take the next passage?” Like a fool. PRINCIPLE 3 also portects people from the fate of Philip Nolan, who had to live on boats and not have a nationality for having got mad at the Government once, tho not till grown-up. But children’s fate, through the passage of years is to become grown-up or else dead. So look before you leap, which the U.N. does.

PRINCIPLE 4: The child shall enjoy the benefits of social security. He shall be entitled to grow up and develop in health; to this end special care and protection shall be provided both to him and to his mother, including adequate prenatal and postnatal care. This sounds like mostly for Mothers, but think, think, just exactly where would children be without prenatal Mothers? NOWHERE. And prenatal Fathers are not so absolutely necessary. The first Nowell would have been in a sanidary, recently-modern hospital if people had only had the U.N. then. The Massacre of the Holy Innocents would be absolutely an object of forbiddance and mortal sin, under penalty of the law.

PRINCIPLE 5: The child who is physically, mentally, or socially handicapped shall be given the special treatment, education, and care required by his particular condition. In the intersts of the questioning mind, one has to admit that this principle is hard: because: — “physically handicapped” means crippled and those children, they say, have to go to special schools for crippled children: — “mentally handicapped” means retarded, and those children have to go to special schools for retarded children: — “socially handicapped” means Negro in the South, but, as is well-known, those children have to come out of special schools for Negro children in the South. Does that make sense for physicals and mentals to go in yet for socials to come out? Not that who are we to critisise, never less, may be grown-ups should clarify there thinking on the topic.

PRINCIPLE 6: The child, for the full and harmonious development of his personality, needs love and understanding. He shall, wherever possible, grow up in the care and under the responsibility of his parents, and in any case in an atmosphere of affection and of moral and material security. Payment of state and other assistance toward the maintenance of children of families is desirable. This one may seem to say a lot of things one already knew, like “love and understanding,” etc. etc. etc., but the important thing after all, is that it is still on the side of children, other words: Sprit of Chrismas. One may well ask ourself, although, about assisting (paying) people of large families (personally in our favor), which if they do, they have to make there mind up about populations exploding. For, besides the joys of parenthood, if you get paid too, where will it all end?

PRINCIPLE 7: The child shall be given an education which will promote his general culture and enable him on a basis of equal opportunity to develop his abilities. The child shall have full opportunity for play and recreation, which shall be directed to the same purposes as education. It is hard to see how the U.N. missed the things wrong in this, unless there wrist was getting tired from writting. Wrong thing No. A: — There absolutely just isn’t anything equal in people’s opportunity to learn culture that would be general. Like in West Hartford, U.S.A., culture is French, Mythology, Music, Hiawatha, and things like that but in Wildest Africa culture is Hunting lions, Shrinking heads, Building huts of clay and wattles made, and things like that, none of which there is any of in West Hartford. (Even if there was some way this could be arranged, it would not be very fair to Wildest Africa children.) Wrong thing No. B: — (the part about play and recreation). Unforch, as even the dumbest know, play and recreation that is directed always turns out into one thing: — RELAY RACES.

PRINCIPLE 8: The child shall in all circumstances be among the first to receive protection and relief. Vere dignum et justum est. (Altarboy’s joke by John. Others except priests look it up.)

PRINCIPLE 9: The child shall be protected against all forms of neglect, cruelty, and exploitation. He shall not be the subject of traffic in any form. (It is a known fact that sometimes children run right strate across without looking both ways: Think: nothing is black and white: all is grey.) Next part: The child shall not be admitted to employment before an appropriate minimum age. This is one of the most absolutely Sprit of Chrismaslike things the U.N. ever said in its life. For NOTE: — Employment means working for money. How far far worse indeed, therefore, is the involatory slavitude children have to do Satadays, not only for no money, but not getting their riteful allowance if they don’t. This also shall be changed by law.

PRINCIPLE 10: The child shall be brought up in a spirit of understanding, tolerance, friendship among peoples, peace, and universal brotherhood, in full consciousness that his energy and talents should be devoted to the service of his fellow men. These sweet and nobble words show how the Uniteds have even improved the Sprit of Chrismas. For in olden days, you were supposed to love your fellow men (even the ones you couldn’t stand) yet use your energy and talents for you and yours, which you had to, the world being such a mess. In our day, you only have to have a sprit of tolerace, friendship, etc. etc. etc., and even that you only have among peopleS, much more practical than among peoplE, if you get our meaning (see letters we put in capitals). Also, the new laws of the Governments of the U.N. will take care of things like nutrition, housing, and other postnatal care of you and yours, so there will be nothing left to do except be devoted to the service of your fellow men.

Thus we see, the U.N. Declaration of Rights of the Child is in the true Sprit of Chrismas, and also cinchy.

* Composed by Pamela, John, Priscilla, and, sometimes, Buckley Heath; Typed by There Mother.

A Christmas story by the late Aloïse Buckley Heath is an NR tradition. This story was first published in 1967.

In This Issue


Politics & Policy

Cruz vs. Rubio

Freud wasn’t talking about party primaries when he coined the phrase “the narcissism of small differences,” but he might as well have been. The similarities between Senators Ted Cruz and ...


Politics & Policy

Climate Play-Acting

Goalposts move all the time, but rarely are they disassembled and carted away, leaving the teams to circle aimlessly while the crowd roars and the commentators prattle on as if ...

Books, Arts & Manners

Politics & Policy

A New Christian

Just a few things are widely known about Augustine of Hippo (354–430 a.d.), whose designations are as lofty and sweeping as saint, doctor (= “teacher”) of the Church, and the ...
Politics & Policy

Mystery Man

Writing about Bob Dylan’s politics would seem to be a thankless task. The famously curmudgeonly songwriter claims to know and care little about the subject, and what he has said ...
Politics & Policy

True Grit

The movie poster for Room shows a young mother, head tilted back, garbed in comfortable-looking gray, swinging her little boy in her arms. He’s wearing a plaid jacket, a raccoon ...


Politics & Policy


Can Peace in the Middle East Be So Simple? In “The Islamic War” (December 7), Victor Davis Hanson wonders why Islamists despise us “all the more” as the Middle East has ...
Politics & Policy

The Week

‐ It figures: Homeland Security has the only government employees who don’t spend enough of their workday on Facebook . . . ‐ Senator Cruz is rising in the polls, both ...
Politics & Policy


WINTER SONG As we unfreeze our rosy faces We envy friends in warmer places, Though we are wont to wish them well, Even those toasting toes in hell. We feast on heavy meat, creamed peas, Fried ...

Most Popular


‘Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself’

It was just one more segment to fill out the hour, and thereby fill the long 24 hours of Saturday’s cable news on November 2. Or so it seemed. Navy SEAL Mike Ritland was on the Fox News program Watters World to talk to Jesse Watters about trained German shepherds like the one used in the raid that found ... Read More

A Defining Statement of Modern Conservatism

The greatest documents in American history never lose their ability to astonish. They deserve, and repay, careful study, and inevitably have contemporary resonances no matter how long ago they were written or uttered. There’s no doubt that Ronald Reagan’s “A Time for Choosing” belongs in the top ranks ... Read More
White House

Impeachment Theater of Trolls

As a boy, I used to watch a television show with a weekly gag titled “MasterJoke Theatre.” A pompous egghead smoked a pipe in a leather-bound chair in a richly appointed library, told a joke, and got a pie in the face for his trouble. What the Democrats launched on the Hill this week is their own variant, ... Read More
White House

The Russian Conspiracy That Won’t Die

The Mueller report accomplished nothing. Whether you thought that the two-year, $32 million investigation was warranted or not, the report promised to establish a factual record that both sides could accept, especially on the explosive charge that Donald Trump had conspired with the Russians to win the ... Read More