Magazine | January 23, 2017, Issue

From the Twitter Feed of Kim Jong Un, @youthcaptain

(Korean Central News Agency/via Reuters)

She wasn’t prepared. #embarrassing #mariahcarey #newyearsrockineve #dothedamnsoundcheck

The thing about Pepe the Frog that I don’t get is why they had to make him look so delicious. Hard to focus on message with a rumbling tummy! #samewithmickeymouse #samewithlolcats

Learning that it’s not really calories but the timing and the way foods interact with my body chemistry. Will probably spring for all new supplements this year because my old personal trainer was set on fire because of my unexplained weight gain.

Are people still on here, or has everyone gone to Insta?

Hey, @billmitchellvii, great analysis of Trump win, etc., but wondering about the cross tabs on some of the battleground states. Follow back for a convo?

Not sure I get why executing someone with an anti-aircraft gun in front of his family is “worse” than using wrong pronoun with a trans person. Both make a person “disappear.” Curious. #bias #inthebubble

Agree somewhat about 2016 being a bad year in general, but was great for my workout regime: can’t ignore the gainz in my quads, traps, delts, and calves! Pic is NSFW!!!

@realdonaldtrump Weird question but wanted to know if @ivankatrump and @jaredkushner are, like, solid solid or if there’s a way for me to get to know her better. DM me!

TFW your whole family is judging you for who you aren’t instead of celebrating you for who you are. #notforlong

Hey Tweeps! Check out this pic. Does this look like normal chafing to you or should I see someone? Pretty busy these days so would prefer to just put lotion there. Hit me back!

Top 10 faves for 2016? La La Land, Rogue One, Abundant Wheat Harvest Thanks to Our Dynamic Young Leader, and Manchester by the Sea. All great movies, hard to pick a “winner.”

Forgot to add The Execution of the Dog Traitor Minister of Defense to that list! Basically a documentary, but sometimes I like to chill with something like that. U?

Find me on Snapchat! Use code or use my username grandmasterkimjongun! Will swap nudes!

Weird to think that some people have large and meddling and incompetent families and can’t do anything about it! #firingsquads #workcamps #blessed #gratitude

@realdonaldtrump Notice how you’re suddenly using Twitter to settle scores and punish enemies and it’s like copy me much? Sad! #ownyourownstyle #beyourself

@oprahwinfrey Taking a page from your book, literally! Am tired of waiting for engineers to make me an ICBM and am working to manifest it myself with very fun and scary vision board! Thanks!

Media says I have executed 340 people since taking the reins. Has been more, believe me. But they still write about my hair and my weight and it’s like, yeah, hello, I totally get you, @kanyewest!

Just ate a giant bowl of chili-pickled cabbage, so get ready! Tweet storm coming on! (Among other things.)

Have to say, impressed with the way @realdonaldtrump kept on track during the bruising campaign and didn’t listen to the experts 1/6

Who don’t really know anything anyway and are often 180 degrees wrong, as they have been in this country, where they 2/6

Predicted that we’d be experiencing another famine and that I’d be killed in a coup (!) or something 3/6

None of which has happened (#blessed #grateful) except for the famine part 4/6

But my question to you @realdonaldtrump is, when are you going to do the smart thing and execute @reincepriebus on live television? 5/6

Because at some point in the campaign @reincepriebus surely saw @realdonaldtrump in a weak moment, indecisive or even fearful. #cleanuplooseends #neverletthemseeyoucry

What part of “intercontinental” is unclear in the phrase “intercontinental ballistic missile”? Because I seem to have an awful lot of engineers and eggheads who think “somewhere in the Sea of Japan” is another continent. #needdiscipline #wishihadstudiedthisstuff

Hey! @donaldtrumpjr and @erictrump! The three of us have a lot in common! Follow me back so we can DM! Would love to talk about having you dudes visit here. Can share insights into growing up with difficult larger-than-life dads!

My bad, @donaldtrumpjr and @erictrump — didn’t realize you guys already followed me. Am DMing you guys right now. Also, do you Snap or Periscope? Have some stuff to discuss re dads and also possible tower construction.

Hey Tweeps! Chafing is better! Check out the pics!

Happy Holidays to everyone! Even the haters and the losers who I will eventually execute in some cruelly elaborate way in front of their families! Sad!

In This Issue



Books, Arts & Manners


Politics & Policy


Beliefs of the 99 Percent Kevin D. Williamson attempts (“Superman Politics,” December 31) to articulate complex economic policy for the 0.4 percent “who follow these things closely.” That makes me part ...
Politics & Policy

The Week

‐ We hope that in retirement Harry Reid keeps up his workout routine. ‐ Republicans intend to pass what they’re calling an “Obamacare-repeal bill” early. It will get rid of Obamacare’s ...
Politics & Policy


AMONG THE STATIONS A frozen steeple cock announced the place – A town like any other on that coast: The rusty docks, inert, insoluble, Real estate booming, tech at full sail, And a hitching post ...

Most Popular

White House

The Trivialization of Impeachment

We have a serious governance problem. Our system is based on separation of powers, because liberty depends on preventing any component of the state from accumulating too much authority -- that’s how tyrants are born. For the system to work, the components have to be able to check each other: The federal and ... Read More

‘Texodus’ Bodes Badly for Republicans

‘I am a classically trained engineer," says Representative Will Hurd, a Texas Republican, "and I firmly believe in regression to the mean." Applying a concept from statistics to the randomness of today's politics is problematic. In any case, Hurd, 42, is not waiting for the regression of our politics from the ... Read More

Put Up or Shut Up on These Accusations, Hillary

Look, one 2016 candidate being prone to wild and baseless accusations is enough. Appearing on Obama campaign manager David Plouffe’s podcast, Hillary Clinton suggested that 2016 Green Party candidate Jill Stein was a “Russian asset,” that Republicans and Russians were promoting the Green Party, and ... Read More

Feminists Have Turned on Pornography

Since the sexual revolution of the 1960s, the feminist movement has sought to condemn traditional sexual ethics as repressive, misogynistic, and intolerant. As the 2010s come to a close, it might be fair to say that mainstream culture has reached the logical endpoint of this philosophy. Whereas older Americans ... Read More
PC Culture

Defiant Dave Chappelle

When Dave Chappelle’s Netflix special Sticks & Stones came out in August, the overwhelming response from critics was that it was offensive, unacceptable garbage. Inkoo Kang of Slate declared that Chappelle’s “jokes make you wince.” Garrett Martin, in the online magazine Paste, maintained that the ... Read More