Magazine | February 20, 2017, Issue

Craigslist Missed Connections, Protest Edition

Super Woke Lady Waiting in Line at Port-o-Potty in DC (m4w)

Was standing in line waiting to use the facilities when we struck up a convo and really clicked. Totally into your idea of buying an alternative fuel car and driving around the country from protest to protest and wondering if I’ll see you at tomorrow’s protest or maybe the one the day after or the day after that? Or the day after the day after that? Would really love to keep talking or whatever. Hit me back here and tell me which member of Echo and the Bunnymen was on my T-shirt and how wide the gauges in my ears are and we can take it from there.

I Was in the Poncho (Women’s March DC) (m4w)

Saw you walking in the DC Women’s March and made a joke about your sign which I think you misinterpreted. Wasn’t saying it didn’t make sense. It made perfect sense. Was more trying to say that it didn’t look like Donald Trump in the drawing but more like a sheepdog trying to use a sewing machine, which was weird, so it was hard to really get your point about the National Security Council. But you looked mad at me when I approached you so I kept walking. I think you thought I was just there to meet women which is totally untrue. But I thought you were cute and I wanted to maybe take you for coffee. Hit me back if you see this and maybe we can take it from there?

Ironic MAGA Hat Guy (ww4m)

Now that we look back at it, it was a pretty funny way to wear one of those Trump hats and we’re sorry we didn’t have the time to go back and find you during the speeches. Sorry we threw clumps of dirt at you. Can you hit us back here and tell us what we were wearing and maybe we can all get together at the next protest? You mentioned that you have a car and we’d like to grab a ride with you if you’re heading down to the protests in Miami. (Or anywhere sunny????)

Sorry about the Gender Thing (?4?)

Met you and your friend at the start of the anti-Trump march and was totally taken by your electric blue eyes and think I offended you when I didn’t know your exact gender and tried to guess. Then when your friend tried to guess my gender I was going to laugh but didn’t want you to think I was laughing at the idea and concept of gender fluidity, so I just stood there. Really wish I had gotten your number but am concerned that if I had we would then be forced to meet each other in a gender-limiting setting like the Coffee Bean. Hit me back here if you’d like to not meet in person but connect on Tumblr.

RE: Ironic MAGA Hat Guy (m4ww)

I saw that guy and am not sure the hat was ironic. I am also a guy totally committed to the whole protest thing so maybe we can meet up sometime for coffee or whatever? Not trying to use the Trump presidency or the constitutional crisis to meet women, just sincerely would like to spend time with hella woke ladies.

To the Guy in the Poncho (w4m)

You approached us on the Mall and we were thrown by your poncho which felt a lot like cultural appropriation to us so we didn’t really connect. And I get the sheepdog comment now even though I think it was pretty clear that it wasn’t a sewing machine but was a small military drone. (Get it now?) Would love to get together. Hit me back.

You Gave Me a Kind Bar (m4m)

Just want to thank the dude who saw me at the protests on Inauguration Day and then again the next day on the Mall and who gave me one of his Kind bars. Was feeling really weak after all of that protesting and didn’t know where to get something to eat that was also not part of the toxic American political system (no Chipotles nearby) and so that Kind bar hit the spot. Not gay but also not not-gay so hit me back.

Thanks to the Hot Guy Who Helped Me Out with CNN (w4m)

Thanks to the very handsome man who helped me out when I was getting interviewed by CNN. I was attacking Trump’s choice for Education Secretary when the interviewer asked me what I thought about Obama’s Education person and then when I said that Obama’s Education person was awesome and great, the interviewer asked me if I knew the name of Obama’s Education person and that was when you leaned in and said “Arne Duncan!” Which was great because I actually did not know who it was though education is a passion of mine along with the environment and trans issues. Hit me back here and let’s meet and take it from there.

In This Issue

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Politics & Policy

The Week

‐ We do not expect to miss Barack Obama, but we wish he’d give us a chance. ‐ Ronald Reagan first imposed the “Mexico City policy,” which blocks foreign-aid money from ...
Politics & Policy

Poetry

TWILIGHT A blazing sun caught in the trees Attempts to set, but branches mesh And hold the globe. Those rays they seize Should now have been in Marrakesh. We are just little figures there, Absorbing errant ...
Politics & Policy

Letters

Cyberia Luke Thompson’s piece on cybersecurity was quite illuminating (“Our Failed Cybersecurity Policy,” January 23). His view that cybersecurity is not politically savvy and thus becomes an issue only after a ...

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National Security & Defense

A New World Disorder

EDITOR’S NOTE: The following is Jonah Goldberg’s weekly “news”letter, the G-File. Subscribe here to get the G-File delivered to your inbox on Fridays. Dear Reader (But not Allegra Budenmayer, may she rot in Hell), Some of you may recall that my favorite essay by the late Tom Wolfe is “The Great ... Read More