Episode 107: Out Like Flynn
Fade In: int. office — day
Kellyanne enters in a rush. Reince is already at his desk, typing away.
Kellyanne: (to Reince) I cannot believe I’m late again! I have to learn not to trust that Metro! So many delays! It’s like the Metro is for people who are looking for jobs, not for people who have them!
Reince: That explains why I saw Mike Flynn walking to the Foggy Bottom station this morning.
Kellyanne gives him a look.
Kellyanne: Oh, Reince!
Reince: What? I saw him heading down the escalator and all I could think was, there but for the grace of The Big Mouth goes I.
The office door swings open and Mr. Bannon enters from his office.
Mr. Bannon:Reince! Where’s that executive order I asked for?
Reince: The one about no Muslims allowed on television?
Mr. Bannon: Yeah.
Reince: Not doing it, Steve. Unconstitutional.
Mr. Bannon:Wait. Seriously, Reince?
Reince: Seriously, Steve.
Mr. Bannon: I wish you had told me! I scratched one out last night and handed it to the big guy for review.
Reince: Well, maybe he read it and realized it’s out of bounds and didn’t sign it.
Reince: I’m kidding. Did we all forget what kidding is?
Mr. Bannon looks to Kellyanne.
Mr. Bannon: Kellyanne! We need to get that executive order found and destroyed before you-know-who finds it and signs it.
Kellyanne: On it, Mr. Bannon! And, I was wondering if I could have –
Mr. Bannon heads back into his office and slams the door.
Kellyanne: (finishing) — just a few minutes of your . . . time?
Reince: I wouldn’t head in there, Kellyanne. He’s in a bad mood.
Kellyanne: I don’t care! I’ve been here for almost six weeks and it’s time I got a raise.
She stands at her desk and crosses to Mr. Bannon’s office, smoothing her dress and fixing her hair as she does. She takes a deep breath, then knocks.
Mr. Bannon (OS): What?
Kellyanne: Mr. Bannon, I’d like to speak with you if I could.
Mr. Bannon (OS): You can’t.
Kellyanne: Mr. Bannon, I’m coming in there!
Kellyanne crosses into Mr. Bannon’s office. Donald Trump enters from the lobby doors.
Donald Trump: Hi guys!
They ad-lib hellos.
Donald Trump:Reince, I need to talk to you about the material you wrote for me last night. I have to say, it was a little off-color.
Reince: (sighs) What are you talking about? It was a short speech about the Middle East.
Donald Trump produces a piece of paper and shows it to Reince.
Donald Trump: What’s this word?
Int. Mr. Bannon’s office — continuous
Kellyanne is standing in front of Mr. Bannon’s desk. Mr. Bannon ignores her as he types on his typewriter. He types for a few moments without looking up.
Mr. Bannon: (still typing) Kellyanne?
Kellyanne: Yes, Mr. Bannon?
Mr. Bannon: You’re hovering. I hate hovering.
Mr. Bannon: Okay, now you’re sitting. Don’t know which I hate more, hovering or sitting.
Kellyanne: Mr. Bannon, I’ve been working here for almost two months, and in that time I’ve done a great job. I mean, I think I have. I’ve appeared on news shows, spoken up for our policies, been ever-vigilant against Muslim apologists, and I really think it’s time, I mean I really really think it’s time –
Mr. Bannon: Okay, Kellyanne, you can have a raise.
Kellyanne: — that I get a raise.
Kellyanne (Cont’d): What?
Mr. Bannon smiles.
Mr. Bannon: You know something, Kellyanne? You’ve got integrity.
Kellyanne: Thank you, Mr. Bannon.
Mr. Bannon: I hate integrity.
Kellyanne’s face drops.
Mr. Bannon: I’m just kidding, Kellyanne. You don’t have integrity.
Her smile returns.
Kellyanne: Thank you, Mr. Bannon!
Int. office — continuous
Donald Trump stands by Reince’s desk, pointing out parts of a prepared speech.
Donald Trump: And that’s why I think we need something in there about my resort property in Ireland. Not because it’s mine, Reince, but because it’s beautiful. It’s a beautiful pristine place untouched by anything. Still pure and empty and new.
Reince: Sort of like your mind.
Donald Trump: Ha ha. Very funny. I just think people should know we still have units available.
Kellyanne enters from Mr. Bannon’s office.
Kellyanne: (to Donald Trump) Sir! Good morning! I’ve been looking for you!
Donald Trump: Well, you found me! Kellyanne, will you talk to Reince about putting dirty words in my speeches?
Reince: Donald! “Shiite” is not a dirty word. And neither is “emoluments.”
Donald Trump: Are you sure about that last one? Sure sounds sexual.
Kellyanne: Sir, I was hoping I could ask you to give me back the paper with the Muslim television ban on it?
Donald Trump: No time to talk, Kellyanne. I have to go announce that I’ve banned Muslims from television. Afterwards, we can talk about whatever it is you’re talking about.
Donald Trump exits toward the television studio.
Kellyanne: Uh boy.
End of Act One.