Consider the person who might have written these paragraphs:

Who needs to go anywhere? No one, certainly not you, not if you’re someone who gets mad in a Paris bistro because they don’t have ketchup to dump on the steak tartare you sent back because it was too raw, and not if you intend on bypassing the museums because the pretty pictures on the wall don’t move if you point your phone at them like a remote, and besides you’d only visit the Louvre to take a selfie of yourself with the Mona Lisa and hashtag it #LooverLove so your friends

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