ACT II, iii:
Othello: . . . Give me to know
How this foul rout began, who set it on;
And he that is approved in this offence,
Though he had twinn’d with me, both at a birth,
Shall lose me . . .
’Tis monstrous. Iago, who began’t?
Hannity: Can I just interject here? First, let me say that everything you’re doing right now makes all kinds of sense. Yes, the Venetian elites are, like, going nuts, but you know what? They didn’t elect you! Anyway, sorry to interrupt.
Iago: (ignoring him)
Touch me not so near:
I had rather have this tongue cut from my mouth
Than it should do offence to Michael Cassio;
Yet, I persuade myself, to speak the truth
Shall nothing wrong him . . .
Though Cassio did some little wrong to him,
As men in rage strike those that wish them best,
Yet surely Cassio, I believe, received
From him that fled some strange indignity,
Which patience could not pass.
Othello: I know, Iago,
Thy honesty and love doth mince this matter,
Making it light to Cassio. Cassio, I love thee
But never more be officer of mine.
Hannity: Great decision. Seriously. Goosebump time, I’m telling you.
Others fall silent.
ACT V, ii:
Desdemona: But while I say one prayer!
Othello: It is too late.
He stifles her.
Emilia: My lord, my lord! what, ho! my lord, my lord!
Othello: What noise is this? Not dead? not yet quite dead?
I that am cruel am yet merciful;
I would not have thee linger in thy pain: So, so.
Hannity: Don’t blame yourself. This is all going to be forgotten in a coupla news cycles. Just keep making terrific judgment calls.
ACT I, vii:
Macbeth: If it were done when ’tis done, then ’twere well
It were done quickly: if the assassination
Could trammel up the consequence, and catch
With his surcease success; that but this blow
Might be the be-all and the end-all here,
But here, upon this bank and shoal of time,
We’d jump the life to come.
Hannity: Yes. Totally. One hundred percent. I love watching your mind work.
As I’ve said, you’re Thane. That gives you certain rights and privileges. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Enter LADY MACBETH.
Hannity: But I can see I’m in the middle here, so I’ll just show myself out.
ACT V, viii:
Macbeth: I will not yield,
To kiss the ground before young Malcolm’s feet,
And to be baited with the rabble’s curse . . .
Hannity: And why should you? Look, you’re making tough decisions here. And where was all of this when Duncan was the big Thane? I’ll tell you where: nowhere.
Exeunt, fighting. Alarums. Retreat. Flourish. Enter, with drum and colours, MALCOLM, SIWARD, ROSS, the other Thanes, and Soldiers.
Hannity: I’ll just . . . hey, careful with that!
From King Lear
ACT I, i:
King Lear: Meantime we shall express our darker purpose.
Give me the map there. Know that we have divided
In three our kingdom: and ’tis our fast intent
To shake all cares and business from our age;
Conferring them on younger strengths, while we
Unburthen’d crawl toward death.
Hannity: Genius. I’m speechless. Brilliant plan. And if you’ll permit me, sir, to say: flawless logic. Literally nothing can go wrong here.
Oh, sorry, Keep going, sorry, I interrupted.
King Lear: (ignoring him)
. . . Tell me, my daughters,
Since now we will divest us both of rule,
Interest of territory, cares of state,
Which of you shall we say doth love us most?
That we our largest bounty may extend
Where nature doth with merit challenge.
Hannity: I do. I love you the most. I know I’m not in this, and I’m not a daughter, but for the record? It’s me.
ACT II, iv:
King Lear: . . . No, you unnatural hags,
I will have such revenges on you both,
That all the world shall — I will do such things,
What they are, yet I know not: but they shall be
The terrors of the earth. You think I’ll weep.
No, I’ll not weep: I have full cause of weeping; but this heart
Shall break into a hundred thousand flaws,
Or ere I’ll weep. O fool, I shall go mad!
Hannity: Don’t beat yourself up. You’re the man in the arena and you’re showing awesome leadership. The people didn’t elect you to listen to the deep-state bureaucrats. Everything is amazing!
Exeunt KING LEAR, GLOUCESTER, KENT, and FOOL.
Storm and tempest.