BuzzFeed bombshell: Unnamed sources say Donald Trump strangled a White House aide with a lamp cord last year, then sat next to the body for six hours, smearing himself with grease from McDonald’s wrappers, grunting softly, and occasionally taking a sip from a can of pre-mixed margarita.
Reflexive Trump defenders: That’s ridiculous. Everyone knows the president doesn’t drink alcohol.
Reflexive Trump attackers: It’s a troubling story, and not entirely out of the range of what we’ve come to expect. We know he likes McDonald’s.
Trump skeptics who shade towards disapproval: Well, I’ll have to wait for corroboration, or a coroner’s report, or …