Magazine December 22, 2019, Issue

Mike Bloomberg Runs for President

(Roman Genn)
Grab ’Em by the Slurpee

An angry, vain, out-of-touch white guy from New York City. Lots of money. Weird little neuroses he insists on working out in public. Issues with women, a habit of taking racially charged political stances, and a history of leaving friends and enemies alike unsure which side of the aisle his loyalties actually lie on. It is impossibly amusing to imagine the 2020 presidential match-up pitting Donald Trump against Michael Bloomberg — President Grab ’Em by the P***y vs. Mayor Grab ’Em by the Slurpee — but the Democrats do not seem very likely to nominate their own billionaire Manhattan megalomaniac,

This article appears as “Grab ’Em by the Slurpee” in the December 22, 2019, print edition of National Review.

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