Magazine August 24, 2020, Issue

Fear of Fear Itself

(Jonathan Drake/Reuters)

CNN tweeted out some medical advice: “Individuals with a cervix are now recommended to start cervical cancer screening at 25 and continue through age 65.”

Individuals with cervixes. If this seems a peculiar locution, using nine syllables where the time-tested two phonemes known as “women” might suffice, that’s because you don’t know. You just don’t know. Really. It’s 2020. Men can have cervixes.

You might ask: Am I understanding the word correctly? I thought it was a reference to female anatomy, but is this . . . some French cooking term? Our chefs choose the freshest cervixes from lakes fed by artisan

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In memory of the late Herman Cain, please join us in saying nine Hail Marys, nine Our Fathers, and nine Glory Bes.

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