Magazine October 19, 2020, Issue

The Bourgeois Bath

(Aaron Josefczyk/Reuters)

Imagine you’re feeling lousy. Half-mast. Low tide. You go to the doc.

“I’m just tapped out, doc. I catch every cold that’s going around. I can’t focus. My eyelid flutters like a hummingbird’s heart hooked up to a car battery. I get these headaches I call the ‘Trotskies,’ because it feels like I’ve been poked with an ice pick.”

“Ice axe,” says the doctor. “Trotsky was killed with an ice axe, not an ice pick. It’s a common mistake. They’re two entirely different implements.”

“Okay, but who cares? I’m not feeling well.”

“So you’d be okay if I tested your reflexes with a jackhammer

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It turns out that the Democrats don’t fear that women will be put into red robes but that they will be put into black ones.

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