Magazine August 16, 2021, Issue

Ice Cream, They Scream

President Joe Biden eats an ice-cream during a visit to Cleveland, Ohio, May 27, 2021. (Evelyn Hockstein/Reuters)

During President Biden’s barnstorming tour of the nation’s ice-cream parlors, some insouciant reporter asked him about his party’s position on defunding the police and whether it might hurt their chances in the midterms. Let us paraphrase his response:

“Some Republicans, they, we, are, going to be, and we’re looking at finding out the where, say, I drink the blood of kids. They think I’m Satan. C’mon. C’mon. And they say, they say, it’s true, they say, it’s false about kids in dungeons. I had a dog once. You know, you know what they say about a cold nose, it’s a good

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