Media Blog

Behind Chuck Norris’s Beard…

is a NASA super-computer:

Coupling his legendary command of advanced mathematics with his vast knowledge of human physiology, Norris told reporters that serving as president accelerates the aging process “three-to-one”–meaning that, according to his calculations, John McCain, now 71, will be dead by 2012.
“If John takes over the presidency at 72 and he ages three-to-one, how old will he be in four years? Eighty-four years old,” Norris said, as Huckabee looked on. “That’s why I didn’t pick John to support, because I’m just afraid the vice president will wind up taking over his job within that four-year presidency.”

Extra credit question for America’s ninja: How old will McCain’s dog be in Norris years?
And for the record, if the Norris/Huckabee ticket is so pro-America, why did Norris sell out to Honda?

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