If the e-mail I’ve been getting for the past 24 hours is any indication, then Rosie O’Donnell has become the patron saint of lunatic lefties everywhere. Here’s one fine citizen’s defense of O’Donnell’s conspiracy-mongering:
Why are you, as well as the entire Right, AFRAID of the truth? We have never had a NON-PARTISAN study of what happened, and you know this to be true. The Commission LIED, and Americans know this to be a fact. You call Ms. O’Donnell ‘clearly unwell’, but she’s not anywhere NEAR as insane as Bush and Cheny are!!! You are supporting evil criminals, and karma’s a bitch. I have the utmost faith that God will never allow these idiots to continue their path of deceit and destruction (elections have consequences…and Rethugs will NEVER win another election as the Party of Death, Lies, and Incompetence).
Lacking the willpower to restrain myself, I responded:
It seems I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know when I say
that my editors and I — indeed, the entire Right — are afraid of the
truth about 9/11 for one simple reason: We helped Bush and Cheney plan
the attacks. A full, non-partisan study, as opposed to the sham 9/11
Commission report, would implicate me and a long list of other
conservative pundits (Goldberg, Will, even little Ben Shapiro) in the
controlled demolition that brought down the twin towers and the
Oscar-Meyer Weinermobile filled with explosives (that’s right — look
closer) that we paid some homeless guy to ram into the side of the
Why did we do it? Oil. Cheney promised us a cut of Halliburton’s profits
from its no-bid contracts in Iraq, so we all worked together on 9/11 to
give Bush an excuse to start the war he was planning all along.
Naturally, the American sheeple took the bait, and now I can afford the
things I’ve always wanted, like a Hummer made of solid gold and trips to
outer space with N’Sync’s Lance Bass.
Why am I telling you all this? Simple. By sending me this e-mail, I’m
afraid you signed your own ticket to Guantanamo Bay. Thanks to the
Patriot Act, a secret 9/11 Cover-Up Team deep within the bowels of the
FBI automatically receives a high-priority alert anytime someone sends
an e-mail containing the words “AFRAID”, “NON-PARTISAN” and “LIED” in
all caps; it’s a clear sign that the sender has learned the truth about
So you see, I can tell you all about my involvement in 9/11 because by
the time you get this e-mail, the 9/11 Cover-Up Team (911-CUT) will
already be knocking on your door.
Pity. I thought someone as clever as you would have figured out the
FBI’s keyword algorithm a long time ago.
P.S. If God is all-knowing and all-powerful, and if you have the utmost
faith that He is opposed to Bush and Cheney and their path of deceit and
destruction, then why didn’t He prevent them from gaining power in the
I’ll let you know if I hear back.