“After a quick meet-and-greet with King Abdullah, Obama was off to Israel, where he made a quick stop at the manger in Bethlehem where he was born.” — Jon Stewart
“It was kind of surprising; they really love Obama in Germany. He’s like a rock star over there. It’s impressive until you realize that David Hasselhoff is also like a rock star over there.” — Jimmy Kimmel
“Hey, did you see Barack Obama playing basketball with our troops in Iraq? Did you see that one shot he made from 40 feet? Forty feet. Let me tell you something. If shooting baskets now is a requirement to be president, a white guy may never have that job again.” — Jay Leno