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What is This “Alaska” You Speak Of?

Breaking news:

Palin Dodges Tough Questions About Existence of “Alaska”

By Howard Kurtz

Washington Post Staff Writer

Wednesday, September 3, 2008; A1
Media Bubble, Sept. 2 — Embattled former beauty queen Sarah Palin* continued to wilt yesterday under the pressure of numerous fair, evenhanded media questions regarding the alleged state of “Alaska.” Palin has claimed to be “governor” of the legendary northern land mass, which, while heretofore undiscovered by explorers, was once rumored to contain vast expanses rich with oil, gold, and “eski-mos.”
Palin first made the “Alaska” claim during an Aug. 29 public appearance alongside elderly, mean-looking cancer victim John McCain. McCain, a white man with whiter hair, has long publicly blocked efforts by Barack Obama, a youthful black man with a certain indefinable aura about him, to move into Obama’s new house. Palin, also white-skinned, has been linked to the McCain offensive.
After four days of telling silence from the McCain camp, Palin finally deigned to reappear in public yesterday. In a followup press conference, Palin, who is a girl, lashed out at the media.
“Listen to me: Alaska. Is. A. State. Seriously. The 49th state, in fact. Way up north there. What, did somebody go around your newsrooms and hide all the maps underneath the ethics manuals? Or are you idiots just completely insane?”

Never fear, a certain blogger for TheAtlantic.com is close to cracking the case. Read on.

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