Been thinking about @snooki a lot. She’s pregnant and putting on weight. Saw a picture of her and was like Rowrrrr! #likethembig
Hey! @sandrafluke! Follow me so I can DM you!
Uncle and I are still laughing and laughing about the silly rumor about factions in the government trying to kill me. Laughing and laughing. Well, I’m laughing. He’s just smiling in a weird way. #dontgetoldpeople
We want multi-party talks. Then we don’t want them. Then we want them again. So why am I suddenly the dumb one when I get the two mixed up? #itsdumponkimjongundayiguess
Woke up early today to go running. Was rushed to the hospital for extreme out-of-breathness. Uncle just rolled his eyes. #ihavehealthissuessosueme
Hey, @sandrafluke. Glad that @rushlimbaugh apologized. Offer still stands, though. I give great backrubs!
Went back to the Chinese and offered 15 million North Koreans for food aid, 1 million cases of Coke Zero, an Airbus, and two cars to be named later. Did not get the response I was hoping for.
Just heard that @davyjones of #themonkees died. So sad. Such a great talent. Tweeps, help me out: who were #themonkees again?
@snooki, please follow me so I can DM you. Have a great offer for you.
On viewing stand for military parade. Uncle creeps up behind me and shouts “bang!” Naturally I freak. Uncle laughs and looks at me strangely. #goodtohaveasecondjumpsuithandy
Hey Tweeps! Any good recommendations for weight-loss techniques? Must be effective and fast and also allow cheat days. And rice. And ice cream. And anything Entenmann’s. #allaboutthecarbsandthesugar
Chinese tell me in talks that they really don’t want any North Koreans, either in exchange or as barter. Not sure if I should be insulted by that. Choosing to take the high road. #leadership
Uncle walks in on me while I’m in the bathtub to present me with a brand-new radio. It’s plugged in and he mistakenly drops it into the tub. Weird practical joke. #thankgodforpoweroutages
I’ve been working out! Can’t you tell? Check it out: twitpic.com/fFF5034h Warning: NSFW!
@snooki, unsure what your status is guy-wise. But would love the opportunity to give your child a wonderful home in the DPRK. And maybe have one of our own heh heh #instantfamily
Hey everyone! Please follow my uncle, @jangsongthaek. A great guy, new to the Twitters, been a huge source of support for me. Can’t ever replace dad, but @jangsongthaek comes awfully close! #FF