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From the Twitter Stream of Kim Jong Un, @youthcaptain


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Been thinking about @snooki a lot. She’s pregnant and putting on weight. Saw a picture of her and was like Rowrrrr! #likethembig

Hey! @sandrafluke! Follow me so I can DM you!

Uncle and I are still laughing and laughing about the silly rumor about factions in the government trying to kill me. Laughing and laughing. Well, I’m laughing. He’s just smiling in a weird way. #dontgetoldpeople

We want multi-party talks. Then we don’t want them. Then we want them again. So why am I suddenly the dumb one when I get the two mixed up? #itsdumponkimjongundayiguess

Woke up early today to go running. Was rushed to the hospital for extreme out-of-breathness. Uncle just rolled his eyes. #ihavehealthissuessosueme

Hey, @sandrafluke. Glad that @rushlimbaugh apologized. Offer still stands, though. I give great backrubs!

Went back to the Chinese and offered 15 million North Koreans for food aid, 1 million cases of Coke Zero, an Airbus, and two cars to be named later. Did not get the response I was hoping for.

Just heard that @davyjones of #themonkees died. So sad. Such a great talent. Tweeps, help me out: who were #themonkees again?

@snooki, please follow me so I can DM you. Have a great offer for you.

On viewing stand for military parade. Uncle creeps up behind me and shouts “bang!” Naturally I freak. Uncle laughs and looks at me strangely. #goodtohaveasecondjumpsuithandy

Hey Tweeps! Any good recommendations for weight-loss techniques? Must be effective and fast and also allow cheat days. And rice. And ice cream. And anything Entenmann’s. #allaboutthecarbsandthesugar

Chinese tell me in talks that they really don’t want any North Koreans, either in exchange or as barter. Not sure if I should be insulted by that. Choosing to take the high road. #leadership

Uncle walks in on me while I’m in the bathtub to present me with a brand-new radio. It’s plugged in and he mistakenly drops it into the tub. Weird practical joke. #thankgodforpoweroutages

I’ve been working out! Can’t you tell? Check it out: twitpic.com/fFF5034h Warning: NSFW!

@snooki, unsure what your status is guy-wise. But would love the opportunity to give your child a wonderful home in the DPRK. And maybe have one of our own heh heh #instantfamily

Hey everyone! Please follow my uncle, @jangsongthaek. A great guy, new to the Twitters, been a huge source of support for me. Can’t ever replace dad, but @jangsongthaek comes awfully close! #FF


Contents
April 2, 2012    |     Volume LXIV, No. 6

Articles
Features
  • Mitt Romney, the Mormons, and those who hate them.
  • Claims that the GOP is fighting a war on women’ can be made to backfire.
  • It is far from unthinkable that we will have one.
  • Some thoughts on a slippery word and concept.
Books, Arts & Manners
Sections
The Long View  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  
Athwart  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  
Poetry  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  
Happy Warrior  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .